Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas with Love from the Carlsons!
Lars, Amy, Stefan and Lukas

Like Mary

Christmas is my favorite time of year. I love my Christmas decor-ations, so I seem to "jump the gun" every year and put them up the first week of November. I just want to make sure I have plenty of time to enjoy them! At least I wait until after Halloween.

As I sit here looking at the colorful lights on our tree, I am amazed at how quickly another year has gone by. Although there haven't been a lot of big changes in our lives, looking at my kids brings a realization that they have certainly grown and changed.

In fact, as I sit writing this, Stefan is playing "Angels We Have Heard On High" on the piano. Not just plucking out the melody a finger at a time. Playing it. It feels somewhat like a scene from "It's a Wonderful Life." He started taking piano lessons in September and I can't believe how he has progressed. He has a great teacher, but it is also evident that he has a God-given talent. (By the way, if you're looking for an amazing piano teacher, check out www.diazschoolofpiano.com.)

The boys are both at Lansing Christian again this year, and we are grateful for the ability to provide a Christian education for them. Stefan is in 3rd grade and doing very well. He loves science - he must get that from his dad! Lukas is in 1st grade and is also doing great. His great love is reading - after his mother's heart.

Lukas is our little charmer who seems to attract the attention of every single girl in the elementary school. He is constantly bringing little notes home with pictures of hearts that say, "I love you Lukas." He gets annoyed by all of this attention now, but I think he'll grow to appreciate it in about 10 years!

When I look at my children, it amazes me to realize what a precious gift from God they are to Lars and me. I can see pieces of each one of us in them. In Stefan I primarily see Lars, but he has a few tendencies to be like me, too. He is a scientific, logical thinker who easily understands technological things like his dad. But he is also sensitive and worries about things, which is more like me. I see both of us in Lukas, too. He is more laid back and less prone to worry, like Lars. At this point, he appears to have more of the "artsy" temperament like I do - quick to respond to things emotionally rather than logically.

I love both of my kids so much, I just want every moment of every day to be filled with happiness for them. And then I think of Mary, and how she must have felt when she held her precious firstborn in her arms. Those of you who are moms understand the unique love that exists between a mother and her children. Our worst fear is that something bad might happen to them.

Mary was an Israelite who was undoubtedly familiar with the prophecies of the Messiah. When the angel of the Lord came to her and told her she would bear the Son of God, she knew what that ultimately meant for that child - and for her. While there was a lot she didn't know, I'm sure she knew she would live to see the day her son was crucified. Yet she willingly accepted God's calling on her life. I wonder if I would have done the same.

So this Christmas, as I enjoy the pretty decorations and remember the birth of Christ, I will remind myself that I have truly been blessed. God has called me to be a mother to two great kids, a wife to an amazing husband, and a servant at Youth Haven and Trinity Church. Someday, though, He might call me to something I don't want to have to endure. I pray that if that happens, like Mary I will willingly accept God's calling on my life, no matter what that might bring.

A Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy. A dearly loved family friend unexpectedly went home to be with the Lord today. And although I know I can celebrate the fact that he is in heaven with the Savior, it is hard to say goodbye.

I first met Dr. Hill when I was a freshman in high school and my family moved from Saginaw to Lansing in the middle of the school year. He was the superintendent at Lansing Christian at the time, and my parents enrolled my younger brother and me there. Dr. Hill's father had been a pastor at the same church my dad had pastored in Saginaw, years earlier. As a pastor's kid himself, he understood how hard it could be. He said to my dad, "I'll look after her." It was nice to know he cared.

Even after Lars and I had graduated and Bob had retired from his position at the school, we kept a special friendship with his family. He and his wife Joy were always bright and cheerful, friendly and encouraging. They often opened their home to us and our staff, and we grew to think of them as part of our extended family.

Several years ago, Bob joined the Board of Directors at Youth Haven. He and Joy volunteered many hours at the Ranch and were devoted to helping the children as much as possible. He was a true friend and mentor to Lars, affirming him in his role at Youth Haven and lovingly sharing his wisdom. Bob was someone we always knew we could count on.

Two years ago, Bob served as the general contractor who built our house. He and Joy were filled with such genuine excitement for us as we built and moved into our first house. We knew things would be done right because Bob was a man of integrity. But it was the personal connection, the chance to spend time with him and Joy, and the feeling that we were doing this together that made the process such a delight for us.

What I appreciated most about Bob was his love for God that spilled over into every aspect of his life. He often had the opportunity to share a devotional with our staff, and his insights and knowledge of the Bible always challenged and inspired me. But more than that, I saw everything he talked about evidenced in his life.

I am grateful that, as brothers and sisters in Christ, we know we will see Bob again in heaven someday. But it's still painful to think that he is gone from this earth. I grieve for Joy and their children and grandchildren. We will surely miss Bob.

Welcome to Our World

It has been a while since I had a chance to sit down and write anything. Things seem to be far busier than I like right now. I will definitely be grateful for Christmas break!

It seems that, especially during the Christmas season, life can be a blur of one event or activity after another, and by the time Christmas actually gets here we are exhausted. In all the bustle it's easy to lose sight of the real reason we celebrate. And it's not just a baby in a manger, either.

Our worship leader at church this evening referenced a song called "Welcome to Our World," written by Chris Rice, and I wanted to share these lyrics with you. You've probably heard this song before, but I would encourage you to just think about the words and what they mean to us.

Tears are falling, hearts are breaking,
How we need to hear from God,
You've been promised, we've been waiting,
Welcome Holy Child,
Welcome Holy Child.

Hope that You don't mind our manger,
How I wish we would have known,
But long awaited, holy stranger,
Make Yourself at home,
Please make Yourself at home.

Bring Your peace into our violence,
Bid our hungry hearts be filled,
Word now breaking Heaven's silence,
Welcome to our world,
Welcome to our world.

Fragile fingers sent to heal us,
Tender brow prepared for thorn,
Tiny heart whose blood will save us,
Unto us is born,
Unto us is born.

So wrap our injured flesh around You,
Breathe our air and walk our sod,
Rob our sin and make us holy,
Perfect Son of God,
Perfect Son of God,
Welcome to our world.

When I think of the baby who was born so long ago, I remember what it was like to hold my newborn sons in my arms. Their smell. The softness of their skin. The little noises they made. How tiny everything was!

As mothers, I think we all look at our kids and know in our hearts they are destined for greatness. Imagine cradling your firstborn and knowing He was the Son of God! Awesome. Tragic. Those fragile fingers were sent to heal us. That tender brow was prepared for a crown of thorns. The blood that beat through that tiny heart would be shed on the cross to save us from our sin.

Let us not forget what a precious gift God gave us that night His Son was born in human flesh. A gift we certainly did not deserve, and yet He gave it freely.

One more thought: it was a pretty meager welcome, the stable. But I love that God chose a place like that for Christ to be born. Because I seem to be really good at making messes of my life, and a Savior who was willing to be born in a stable is a Savior who willingly comes into my mess and makes me holy.

This week will still be busy, but that won't keep me from remembering a baby, a man, a cross, and an empty tomb. Someday I will see Him face to face in heaven! And that is why I celebrate.

13 Years

Yesterday Lars and I celebrated 13 years of marriage. They have been 13 happy years, and I am so blessed to be married to my very best friend.

In one of our conversations together, we talked about how much has changed over the past 13 years. College. A move from Kalamazoo to Youth Haven in Rives Junction. Babies. Toddlers. Homeschool. Loss of grandparents. Lansing Christian Elementary. New opportunities to serve at church.

Our lives have changed dramatically since those carefree days when we were 20 years old and had fewer responsibilities. Children undoubtedly add a new dimension to a marriage, and as their needs become more and more prevalent, it becomes more difficult for a husband and wife to make each other a priority.

At least that's what our experience has been. Between school, work, piano lessons, homework, laundry, meals - we find that there is not a lot of time left over for each other. And that's not good.

I have to admit, it's a real struggle for me to balance my roles as mother and wife. The time between the end of the school day and bedtime seems so short. There just aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish all that needs to be done.

Perhaps that is the problem. I have hard time differentiating between what needs to be done and what I would like to get done. I would like to go to bed in a clean house. I would like to cook fancy meals like Paula Deen. But my husband doesn't care if there is dust on the coffee table, and my kids certainly don't care if I serve them chicken nuggets and broccoli instead of a five-course meal.

Even after 13 years of marriage, I am still learning what's important and what isn't.

We have decided that what is important is spending time together - both as a couple and also as a family. So here are a few things we're doing to make sure we have enough time together in the midst of a sometimes crazy life.

• Date nights - just the two of us
• A family project: for us, it is a 10' x 12' HO model railroad. We're just in the beginning stages, but it will be fun to work on as a family.
• Family movie night (even though I'm always outnumbered when it comes to the movie choices)
• Exercising together
• Sitting down at the table for dinner together every evening
• Family vacations

I guess what I've learned is that it's all a matter of priorities. Sometimes I have to be reminded to keep mine in order.

13 years have gone by quickly. The next 13 will be just as quick, I'm sure. I love my husband and my kids with all my heart. I want every moment together to be a treasure.

Just Had to Share This

This conversation just took place and I had to share it.

Mom: Lukas, get yourself ready for bed.

Lukas: Can you please brush my teeth?

Mom: No, you can do it tonight.

Lukas: Can you get my pajamas?

Mom: I would like you to get yourself ready for bed, please.

Lukas: But you're not helping me with anything.

Mom: You're a big boy now. You don't need my help.

Lukas: The Bible says to help each other!

Out of the mouths of babes. Guess what Mom is doing now?

Lukas' List

Lukas brought this home from school today. I am going to spell everything exactly as he spelled it, then in parentheses I'll put the correct spelling in case you can't figure out what he meant. It took me a minute on the first one.

Five things I need to thank God for are:

1. My burthver (brother)
   
2. My pets
3. My peerints (parents)
4. My God and Jesus
5. My ferends (friends)
   

No More Santa Claus

We've reached a milestone in our household.

This year, our boys are asking for bigger, more expensive toys for Christmas. "It's fine to ask for those things," I explained, "but they do cost more money, so I want you to understand that if you get those things, it will mean you won't have as many presents under the tree on Christmas morning."

"Okay," Stefan said in his getting-down-to-business tone of voice. "So what you're saying is that there really isn't a Santa Claus." It was a statement, not a question.

"Well I can tell you one thing," Lukas chimed in. "Santa's just a man in a costume."

I think they have known it for a year or two, but they weren't quite willing to fully embrace that reality. This year, they are. The childhood years are quickly dwindling. They are growing up.

The whole idea of Santa Claus was something Lars and I discussed when the boys were little. My siblings and I didn't grow up believing in Santa. He and his brothers did. I didn't want our kids to grow up thinking they only get things for Christmas if they're good boys all year long. I wanted them to understand that they receive gifts from us because we love them unconditionally. Lars didn't want to deprive them of the excitement of waiting for Santa to arrive.

So we compromised. Half the presents under the tree were from us, the other half appeared early Christmas morning from the man in the red suit. We have always taught the boys that Christmas is a celebration of Christ's birth, and Jesus was God's gift to us.

A few years ago, Stefan defined Santa as a special man God chose to give gifts to everyone as a way of remembering how God gave Jesus to us on the first Christmas. He is the kind of kid who needs to have a logical explanation for everything. That was how he explained Santa's ability to make it around the entire world in one night and get into people's houses without ever being seen or heard: God gave him those powers so he could do the job God had given him.

He is a deep thinker, that boy of mine. And he has the gift of believing God can and will enable us to do anything He wants us to do. Sometimes I wish I had his faith - to look at something that seems impossible and simply say, "If God wants me to do it, He will give me the power to do it."

I tend to be more like Moses. "I can't do that, God. I'm just not good at that. People will laugh at me." The truth is, sometimes God expects us to do things that appear to be impossible. In and of ourselves, they are impossible. When I say "I can't do that," I am half right. I can't do it on my own.

It was in all conceivable ways impossible for Moses to lead the people of Israel out of slavery in Egypt. So God sent plagues to show His power. He parted the Red Sea so His people could walk across on dry land, then drowned the Egyptian soldiers who were in hot pursuit. He guided the Israelites in pillars of cloud and fire. He made food appear and caused water to flow out of rocks. None of that was possible for Moses to do on his own. But look what God did through him when he relied on God's power and allowed himself to be used!

When I look at all the miracles I see in Scripture, including raising Christ from the grave and claiming victory over death, it is so exciting to remember that I serve that same God! And He is never changing. In fact, Ephesians 1:18-21 tells us that as a believer in Jesus Christ, I have access to that very same power that is "like the working of his mighty strength."

Do I believe God could give someone the power to fly around the world in one night, gain access to every home and leave gifts, undetected? I better believe it! Because if I don't, I am placing limitations on what God can do.

I certainly understand that just because God can do something doesn't mean He will. Still, I firmly believe that He will call each one of us to do the impossible and then give us the ability to accomplish His purpose. That's how His glory will be revealed in us. Am I ready? Are you?

True Worth

The last few weeks I've been watching The Biggest Loser on Tuesday evenings, mainly because we got rid of DIRECTV to save a few dollars so I can't watch my HGTV shows anymore. It comes on right after Jeopardy, which I like to watch while I run on my treadmill because when I'm focused on something else it seems to make the time go faster. The Biggest Loser motivates me to finish those last few minutes after Jeopardy is over.

Tonight, though, I started thinking about the premise of the show. All of these people are competing to see who can lose the most weight. I certainly see the value in a little competition because it can help keep you accountable when you're trying to get healthy. But what I noticed on tonight's episode made me wonder if these types of shows are really good for us.

One of the most important details of the show is the revelation of the numbers on the scale. Every time they interview someone, they post the total amount of weight lost. Believe me, I understand the importance of eating healthy foods, exercising, and getting to and maintaining a healthy weight. Encouraging people to make that kind of lifestyle change is the concept of the show I really enjoy.

What frustrates me is when they base their self image on how they look. Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to look good, as long as you keep it in a proper perspective. It can be dangerous, though, when it becomes an obsession, and I think that's why we have so many young women and girls today who struggle with eating disorders.

We live in a society that has defined beauty in terms of swimsuit models and celebrities who spend hours in the gym with their personal trainers. Teenage girls are striving for a standard no average woman can possibly achieve. It's no wonder they starve themselves and feel like they don't measure up.

I am learning to look at myself and see a woman of true beauty rather than zeroing in on what I see as flaws. And it has nothing to do with the numbers on the scale or the size on the tags of my clothing. It has everything to do with a God who sees me as His treasured possession.

When I was pregnant for Stefan, my mother-in-law said to me, "The first thing you'll think when they put that baby in your arms is, 'Oh, my goodness, I can't believe my parents love me this much.'"

When Stefan was born and they placed him in my arms after an emergency C-section, I understood why she said that. For the first time I knew the love between a mother and her child. But I also thought, "Oh, my goodness, I can't believe God loves me this much!"

There are a few people I would give my life for - my husband and my kids are among them. But I would not give my sons' lives for anyone. And that's just what God did for me. He loved me so much that He was willing to give His only Son to die an awful death so that I could be called His child.

When I think about that, I know my worth is not at all about how I look. God created me in His image, and He loves me just as I am! No, my true worth comes from my identity as a child of God. My prayer is that more and more young women will discover this amazing truth that can set them free from the bondage of feeling inadequate.

Small Enough

By Nichole Nordeman

Oh, Great God, be small enough to hear me now.
There were times when I was crying
from the dark of Daniel's den
and I have asked you once or twice
if you would part the sea again
but tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
just wanna know you're gonna hold me if I start to cry.
Oh, Great God, be small enough to hear me now.

Oh, Great God, be close enough to feel you now.
There have been moments when I could not
face Goliath on my own
and how could I forget we've marched around
our share of Jerichos
but I will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight
just wanna know that everything will be alright.
Oh, Great God, be close enough to feel you now.

All praise and all honor be
to the God of ancient mysteries
whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
but tonight my heart is heavy
and I cannot keep from whispering this prayer:
"Are you there?"

And I know you could leave writing on the wall
that's just for me
or send wisdom while I'm sleeping,
like in Solomon's sweet dreams
but I don't need the strength of Samson
or a chariot in the end
just want to know that you still know how many hairs
are on my head.
Oh, Great God, be small enough to hear me now.

I Was Tagged

I was tagged by my friend Pam, so here are my answers...

1. What is your husband's name? Lars Edward Carlson
2. Who eats more? Probably Lars, unless it's chocolate we're talking about.
3. Who said, "I love you" first? Honestly, I don't remember. It just feels like we've loved each other our whole lives.
4. Who is taller? Lars by about 10 inches
5. Who is smarter? I think we're both smart and very different. Lars has the technical/scientific smarts. I am better with the English/grammar/writing.
6. Who is more sensitive? Definitely me. Sometimes I get jealous of his ability to take things in stride.
7. Who does the laundry? I do, although he would if I asked him to.
8. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I do.
9. Who pays the bills? I do.
10. Who cooks more? Again, I do.
11. Who is more stubborn? I think I might win this one.
12. Who is the first to admit they are wrong? We don't have too many disagreements but when we do, it's usually because I'm being too sensitive about something (see #6) and so I have to admit I'm wrong.
13. Who has more siblings? We both have 2; Lars has 2 brothers and I have a sister and a brother.
14. Who wears the pants in the relationship? Lars is the head of the household, but we make major decisions together and he always takes my thoughts and feelings into consideration even in the smaller matters.
15. What do you like to do together? Music is the biggest thing. He plays drums and I sing, and we love to serve together at church. We also like to watch movies together. We're very different in many ways so we don't have a lot of the same hobbies.
16. Who eats more sweets? Lars. He likes all kinds of sweets, whereas I'm partial to chocolate.
17. Guilty Pleasures? Coffee & dessert or Orville Redenbacher's Pour Over Movie Theater Butter Popcorn on movie nights
18. How did you meet? Our freshman year of high school at Lansing Christian
19. Who asked whom out first? Well... he was letting my friend Carol look at his class ring and I took it from her so he let me keep it. We've been together ever since. :-) As far as our first actual date, he asked me out.
20. Who kissed who first? Lars kissed me, right in front of his mom. I was totally embarrassed!
21. Who proposed? Lars proposed to me on his 20th birthday.
22. His best features and qualities? He loves the Lord and is committed to serving Him. He is an amazing father and husband. He is a great leader at Youth Haven and also musically gifted. Whatever he puts his mind to, he does well. He has a great sense of humor and really great eyes.

I tag Jean!

Life Goes On

This morning we woke up to the news that Barack Obama had won the presidential election. As I started getting ready for work and listened to the news reports, I wondered what it meant for our country and our families.

Then I heard Stefan coughing in his room and the national news was quickly pushed aside in the bustle of the morning. After a few minutes I decided he should probably not go to school today.

Lars had a meeting for Youth Haven this morning at a school in Jackson, so that meant I had to take Lukas to school. Stefan stayed in his pajamas and wrapped up in a blanket in the car, and we headed up to Lansing.

Just before I got on the highway, a 6-point buck ran right in front of my car. I know it was a 6-point because I had an amazing close-up look at him about two inches from my headlights. I was grateful for good, responsive brakes in that moment!

Well, we did make it to school, but as Lukas was getting out of the car he realized he had forgotten his backpack. Since we live 35 minutes away from school, there was no way I could go back and get it. I walked him to his class and he would not go in. He wrapped his arms around my neck and would not let go, crying the whole time because he didn't have his homework to turn in. He had a substitute teacher today, and fortunately she was able to calm him down and cheer him up.

That didn't solve the fact that he now had nothing to eat for his mid-morning snack. I promised him I would run to the gas station and bring him something. He asked for animal crackers or mandarin oranges.

Do you think gas stations sell animal crackers or mandarin oranges? Fortunately, there is a Quality Dairy on the corner by the school. No animal crackers, but they did have a jar of mandarin oranges and a box of plastic forks. I bought them and headed back to the school, knowing I would need to open the jar before I put it in his locker or he would never be able to get it open. Naturally, when the lid released, juice squirted all over the front of me. Stefan found an old Wendy's napkin in the back seat and I wiped it off as much as I could, then headed inside, put the oranges and the forks in his locker, and back out to the car. (Stefan sat in the locked car with his blanket over him the whole time.)

Finally, as we were on the way home, I took a deep breath. And I realized something important. Life went on as usual today, even though our country elected a new president last night. At this point in my life, my most important role is as a mother, and I am doing the best I can in that role. That doesn't change as a result of last night's election.

More importantly, it is not the help of Barack Obama or John McCain that I need as I strive to raise my children to be followers of Christ. It is only God Himself, the Name Above All Names, Who can give me the guidance, wisdom and strength I need for the task at hand.

I don't know what the future holds. But I know that God is able to do even greater things than we could ever ask or imagine. The early church flourished in spite of enormous persecution and opposition. Praise God we are not at that point in our country. I may not agree with all of the things Barack Obama and a Democratic Congress hope to accomplish. But I celebrate the fact that I live in a nation where I have the freedom to serve, worship, and seek the One True God. And that is what I will continue to do with all my heart.

In the midst of our harried morning, we did have one special moment together in the car on the way up to school. The boys and I agreed that we need to pray for Barack Obama, that he would accept Christ as his Savior and that God would help him to do what is right for our country. I hope other Christians will resolve to pray the same way.

Prayer for Our Nation

Today I had an opportunity to attend an amazing prayer meeting at our church. Nearly 100 people gathered over their lunch hour to spend time praying for our nation and the upcoming election. It was made clear at the beginning that we were not there to push our own political views on each other, but simply to ask for God's guidance and discernment for our country.

We started out by thanking God for the many blessings He has poured out upon the United States of America, and on our lives individually. We are fortunate to live in a nation where we have the ability to worship freely and without fear. The early church faced persecution, imprisonment, or even death for proclaiming that Jesus was the Savior. Many people in other countries face that same oppression today. Unfortunately, I think we often take our freedoms for granted. It was good to have that reminder to begin our prayer time together.

We went on to pray that God would give each one of us discernment as we head to the polls on Tuesday. I have to admit, this is the first time I have truly prayed for God to guide my decisions as I vote. I tend to be a single-issue voter, voting only for those candidates who support life. To me, that is a fundamental issue that I believe is in line with God's teaching. But that doesn't mean I don't need to pray about my choices anymore. In the midst of phony campaign promises and candidates bashing each other, how am I to know who is speaking with integrity? I need God's guidance, and I should be earnestly seeking it.

That led to prayers for each person who will be elected to a political office on Tuesday, from the President down to the local offices that we don't even hear much about. As I prayed, I realized that God already knows who will be preparing to move into the White House and who will be filling each seat in Congress after the election is over. The bottom line is, each one of those men and women need God, the same as you and I do. I don't know who has made a personal decision to accept Christ as Savior. John McCain, Sarah Palin, Barack Obama, Joe Biden - whoever fills the Oval Office will be under tremendous pressure and will need God's help! We need to be praying for godly leaders who seek His will and are willing to step out in faith to implement that.

A few members of the Trinity staff also got up to pray about specific issues facing our nation today. We prayed for our current financial crisis, that God would meet the needs of people who are struggling, out of work, hungry, or even homeless. We prayed that God would strengthen our families, that spouses would be faithful to each other, and that children would be brought up in the fear of the Lord. We prayed for our soldiers fighting in Iraq, that God would protect them and return them safely to their families, and that resolution might be reached. And we prayed that God would strengthen the church in our country and help us to have a powerful impact on the world around us.

Finally, we prayed for integrity in the election. No miscounts, no questionable ballots, but a clear decision that no one questions. We prayed that the negativity we have seen in the campaigns this year would be minimized in the next week.

I was grateful that I was able to be part of the prayer meeting for three reasons. First, it was both powerful and moving to be in a room with fellow Christ-followers, all lifting our voices in prayer and beseeching our Father on behalf of our nation. Second, it reminded me of several important issues at hand that I need to be on my knees for concerning our nation - the nation my children will grow up in - and my grandchildren and great-grandchildren after them, God willing.

Most importantly, I was reminded that God invites us to boldly approach the throne of grace. In the book of Philippians Paul tells us, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I am grateful that I don't have to worry about the future. Today, we presented our requests to God with prayer and thanksgiving. I know He heard. And I know He will answer.

Leave it to Beaver

When I was a kid, I loved watching old reruns of Leave it to Beaver. There was something charming about the Cleaver family and the way they interacted with each other. If you watch the sitcoms that are on these days, you don't get the same picture of family life. In most cases, you see a wife who doesn't show a great deal of respect for her husband and often gets a laugh at his expense. Two shows in particular come to my mind. I'm sure you can think of examples, too.

What I am about to say would not make me popular with leaders of the women's rights movements. Frankly, I don't really care. I want to be June Cleaver. I would love nothing more than to spend my days at home baking and cooking, cleaning, helping my children solve their problems, and making sure our house was a happy place for my husband to come home to at the end of the day. I could even get used to the dress and high heels, I think!

I am saddened by the fact that we have redefined women in our society, and that young girls are growing up with this philosophy. Now those of us who would aspire to be like June Cleaver are looked down upon. The perception is that we lack ambition or have settled for less than our potential. We watch Leave it to Beaver reruns and laugh at how unbelievable it is. How did this happen?

Over the past 50 years, women have fought hard to gain equality with men. I, for one, do not want to be compared or held to the same standards as a man. I believe God created us to be different from one another, and we should embrace and celebrate our differences!

All too often we overlook the passage in Genesis that tells us God created Eve because no suitable helper could be found for Adam. Woman was not created to be Man's equal. She was created to be his helper. Wives, God has uniquely crafted us to be a companion and helper for our husbands. No one else is capable of that important task. God has designed us to possess those qualities and abilities that perfectly complement our husbands'. We are meant to be a team; our husbands need us and we need them. What a precious gift!

I long for the days when a wife and mother was expected to be just that - a wife and mother. Fathers held the jobs outside the home that provided for the family. Moms were involved in their kids' daily activities and made sure they were staying out of trouble. Neighbors knew and cared about each other. Wives respected their husbands, and husbands loved their wives. Certainly a television show presents the idealistic side of it, but to hear my grandma tell stories I don't think Leave it to Beaver was too far off.

The problem is, most of our families can't pay all the bills on a single income. So we work. And if we're not careful, we suffer, our children suffer, and our marriages suffer as a result. We can't do it all, and unfortunately sometimes the most important things fall by the wayside. Wouldn't it be great if there was a revolution in our culture and women went back to... well, being at home?

Life Lessons from a Farm and a Zoo

This fall I have had the privilege of going along on two field trips with my kids. First was a field trip to the farm, where we learned all about the different crops grown and how they use those crops to make the products we use every day. Then was a trip to Potter Park Zoo, where a docent gave us all kinds of interesting facts about the animals we saw. Here are a few of the things I learned:

• You can make popcorn from the smaller ears of Indian corn.
• They make fabric out of corn.
• Tractors can run on fuel made from soybeans. (A possible solution to our gasoline problems?)
• There is a difference between sweet corn and field corn. The kernels on field corn are very hard and are ground into meal before being used.
• Owls can't really turn their heads all the way around. They can turn them 120 degrees, which is about 3/4 of the way around. This is because they have limited peripheral vision and can't move their eyes from side to side.
• Camels can drink up to 30 gallons of water in 15 minutes.
• A group of ostriches all lay their eggs in one nest and take turns tending to the eggs until they hatch.

I actually found both of these field trips to be very interesting and informative. Of course I loved hanging out with my boys, but I also learned a lot. (Maybe the show "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" really does pose a good question, because these field trips were for first and third graders!)

More importantly though, I was reminded of how amazing our God truly is.

First of all, God filled the earth with all kinds of crops and vegetation to provide for His children. He has given us good food to eat: wheat, corn, and soybeans - as well as a variety of other fruits, vegetables and grains that are grown at other farms across the country. Not just one thing to eat constantly, but all different tastes so that we not only get sustenance from our food, but flavor, too. He loves us enough to provide for our needs and give us the added blessing of enjoyment.

Second, He has designed each of us to be uniquely equipped to fulfill His purpose for our lives. The most incredible example of this to me was the camel. He placed the camel in the desert, so He gave it everything it needs to flourish in the desert environment. It stores fat in its humps so there is a reserve that its body can use when food is not readily available. As it burns fat, a byproduct of that is water, which keeps it from becoming dehydrated. It is also able to drink large amounts of water and store that water in its body for a long period of time, so that when water is available it can drink, and that water can be stored for times when water is not available.

I simply cannot fathom the mind of God that knows each one of his creations so intimately, has a plan and purpose for each one, and has given each one the unique characteristics it needs. That goes for us, too. He knows everything about us, because He created us. He knows our needs before we even ask Him. And He has chosen the environment in which He has placed us for a plan and a purpose. I've been where it feels like the farm, and food and water are plentiful. But I've also felt like I was in the desert, dry and thirsty. The truth is, no matter where I am, I can trust Him to give me all that I need to sustain me.

If I have any encouragement for you, it would be this: if you are experiencing a time of plenty, where you feel well provided for and blessed with enjoyment, celebrate that and take the opportunity to grow and nourish your faith. The desert may lie ahead. If you already are in the desert, parched and weary, know that God will carry you through. He is all you need.

The Weekend

What a weekend! It started for me at noon on Friday, when I arrived at the school to chaperone a first grade field trip. We went to Cook's Farm in Okemos, where we learned about the different crops they grow there and what products are made from those crops. Then we took a hayride out into the pumpkin patch and each child got to choose a pumpkin to take home. It's always fun for me to be with my kids, but I actually learned a lot on this field trip, too!

The bus arrived back at the school at 2:15 and Lukas got to hang out with me until the bell rang at 3:00 and we could pick Stefan up. Then we were on to the fall festival at the school. They had every inflatable you can imagine, Laser Tag and a climbing wall. I was exhausted by the time we left. The boys were not.

Saturday was the Fall Open House at Youth Haven, and it was a gorgeous day! The boys climbed on an ambulance, talked to firefighters, met Safety Pup, got their faces painted (as you can see here), took a hayride, and carried around a little snake they found. I got to chase them around and make sure they weren't trying to run the show. Stefan enjoys telling people his dad is the director.

Sunday morning we got up and headed to church for the 9:15 service. They had a first grade Bible presentation, where they gave each first grader a Bible and a little devotional book to go with it. Our lead pastor spoke to the parents about the importance of encouraging the children to read their Bibles, as well as modeling that in our lives. Then the kids sang "Open the Eyes of My Heart" for us. I am grateful for a church that invests so much into the lives of our children.

And then I was reminded of the Youth Haven children who sang for the people at the Fall Open House on Saturday. These are kids who do not necessarily come from homes where they are provided for or even loved. Most of them have never stepped inside a church and have learned everything they know about Jesus at Youth Haven. Here they were, singing, "I'm trading my sorrows, I'm trading my shame, I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord."

I can't fathom the depths of sorrow and shame some of these children have faced in their lives. What a privilege it is for me to be part of a ministry that shows them the love of Christ and helps them take hold of the joy of the Lord!

I have been blessed. My children are blessed. I am grateful for the things I learned in church when I was growing up, and I am grateful for what I see my children learning as they attend our church and a Christian school. I am also grateful that God has called my family to serve at Youth Haven and share the love of Christ with kids who don't have that privilege. If, someday, He does call one or both of my children to "run the show," I pray they will answer that call wholeheartedly.

God is Great, God is Good

I am amazed at how God answers the prayers of His children. This week in particular, I have seen two incredible answers to my prayers.

Lars and I have prayed about our decision to enroll the boys in school and firmly believe Lansing Christian is part of God's plan for their lives. But there are a lot of financial obligations that go along with that, and we have had to make some sacrifices. So last week, as I was thinking about all of the school expenses we have already encountered this year, I asked God to provide.

Over the weekend we received an amazing gift of clothes for our boys. Not even hand-me-downs, but brand new clothes that were extra inventory at a clothing store owned by a friend of my mother-in-law's. Their dressers and closets are now nicely stocked with clothes for the school year: the first answer to prayer.

I have also been praying for my dad. He is doing fairly well, and his foot has been healing better than the doctors anticipated it would. He still has physical struggles with the dialysis, though, and I had sensed in him some discouragement. He always loved preaching, and retirement has been emotionally tough for him. He doesn't want to feel like his life is worthless now. My prayer for him became not only that God would physically strengthen him, but also that God would give him a sense of purpose at Youth Haven.

Sunday afternoon when I spoke with him on the phone, he told me how grateful he is to be here. He feels better now that he can rest when he needs to, without the pressures that go hand-in-hand with full-time ministry. He is looking forward to being able to speak to the Youth Haven children in chapel times and lead some of our staff devotions. This is the second answer to prayer.

As I was thinking about these answered prayers, another prayer came to my mind. It is a simple prayer that we used to say as a family before mealtimes: "God is great, God is good. Let us thank Him for our food. Amen."

Lars and I have not adopted this practice with our boys because we wanted them to learn to pray from their hearts, not to simply recite words they had memorized. Still, as I think of those words, I can see a great deal of truth packed into each line.

God is great. His creation is an awe-inspiring display of His power and greatness. The fact that I breathe in and out without thinking about it, the leaves I see changing into bright reds, yellows, and oranges, the stars and planets that shine in the night sky - all of these speak of the fact that God is, indeed, great.

God is good. In Psalm 8, the psalmist writes, "When I consider the heavens, the works of your fingers, the moon and the stars which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him?" In light of His greatness, it is amazing to me that He loves and cares about me. In fact, He loves me so much He sent His Son to die for me. Yes, God is good.

Let us thank Him... I don't think I'm the only mother who has invested all her efforts into pleasing her kids, only to have them cry and become upset over the one thing she didn't do.
I have caught myself saying, "Instead of crying about that, you should be saying thank you for all I have done for you." Imagine how many times God's heart is broken because I only focus on the one thing I didn't get, rather than thanking Him for the countless things He has done for me!

I haven't done a theological study on prayer and I'm certainly not an expert. But I have seen the answers to my own prayers. And I know enough to believe that "God is great, God is good. Let us thank Him for our food" can be a whole lot more than just reciting words.

The Boys Enjoying a Fall Evening

Stefan taking Pedro the stray cat for a bike ride


Lukas taking a ride on his John Deere

Another "Snippet"

Yesterday's stories were mostly about Lukas, so here is one about Stefan that happened just this evening.

We have a stray cat we've started calling "Pedro" who seems to have chosen us to be his family. Probably because I am too softhearted and started feeding him, but regardless, the boys now consider him ours. (Just to clarify, the name Pedro came from a dog in Inspector Gadget, one of their favorite movies. Although if you've seen Napoleon Dynamite, it could come from that movie, too.)

Well, tonight we got hit with a downpour just as the boys were supposed to be getting ready for bed. Right away, Stefan said, "Mom, if Pedro is at the front door, can I please put him in the garage?" I said yes, of course. The poor cat was sitting on our front porch trying to stay out of the rain.

Stefan grabbed him and brought him in, then took him to the garage. We haven't allowed him to come in the house because we don't know if he has fleas or what shots he has had, if any, and we have another cat and a dog. So, Stefan took a blue fuzzy blanket and laid it out for him on the garage floor. He took a towel and dried off the cat, then put food and water down for him.

When he came back inside, he said, "Wasn't it nice of us to save Pedro? Because, he is one of God's creatures."

How could I argue with that? What a precious child who has compassion for God's creatures! And yes, I am proud of our kids. We have two great boys!

Snippets of My Everyday Life

Today Lukas informed me that he got a new girlfriend. She lives just down the street from us.

"Really?" I asked. "What's her name?"

"I don't know." He answered. "I didn't ask."

Apparently that isn't an essential detail for a six-year-old.

I helped Stefan finish up his last page of math homework for the week. How can third grade math be so hard? I never liked math, but they do things so differently now. Different approaches to everything. Now I understand why my dad used to say, "I can tell you what the answer is, but I can't tell you how to find the answer using what you know."

I didn't get groceries this weekend because it was a busy weekend anyway, and I don't like shopping when the stores are so crowded. Wouldn't you know, tomorrow's hot lunch is sweet and sour chicken which, of course, neither of them want. Now I have to figure out what to pack for their lunches from a bare pantry.

But here is the best thing. This weekend we had the Candlelight Dinners at Youth Haven. These are special dinners for those who support Youth Haven or have an interest in our ministry in some way. We have musical guests, a nice meal, and the children who are at the Ranch for the weekend do a special presentation for the people.

At the end of the children's presentation, they pass out prayer cards with their name and picture on them, asking the people to please pray for them. Last night, Lukas asked me, "Can I get one?"

"Yes," I said, "as long as you are going to pray for the child who gives it to you."

He got a prayer card and asked me the name of the little boy who was pictured on it. I read it for him and turned to say something to my mom. When I looked back, there was Lukas, eyes closed, head bowed, hands folded. He was already praying for that little boy.

My children are blessed to have a loving family, a chance to go to church and a Christian school, and provisions for their needs. They don't get everything they want, but their needs are met and they don't have to worry about going to bed hungry. They don't have to worry about their parents fighting or getting divorced. They have never been and never will be struck or abused. They are safe, and they are cherished.

I am grateful that, even through the mundane, everyday things in our lives, my husband and I have been able to set an example of caring for those less fortunate. I am thankful for the opportunity to let our kids see and learn about other children who face a lot of hardships at home. I treasure our nightly prayer times and see the fruit of that in their lives.

My kids have both asked Jesus into their hearts, and I see in them a real desire to do what pleases Christ. I'd like to say that we're doing a good job as parents, but the truth is, it's all God. Sometimes, even good parents have wayward children. I pray that will never be the case with my boys.

My prayer for them:

Thank you, Father, for their young yet steadfast faith. Please nurture it and help them to seek You with all of their hearts. All I want for them is to love You and serve You to the best of their ability. Please keep them close to You. Thank You for the blood of Jesus that has redeemed their lives. Amen.

The Innocence of a Child

Yesterday we spent the afternoon with some friends of ours, and we had a great time. They have five acres and two four-wheelers, so the guys took Stefan and Lukas four-wheeling while we women sat on the back deck talking. It was such a relaxing afternoon - something Lars and I both needed, and it is a blessing to have friends we both enjoy being with.

I knew Stefan and Lukas had fun, but I didn't realize how much it meant to Lukas until he was saying his bedtime prayer last night. This is what he prayed: "Dear Jesus, thank you that we could enjoy the day at Mrs. and Mr. Borodychuk's house today, and for the opportunity to ride the four-wheelers, and just that we could hang out with them. And thank you that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Amen."

I know parents are supposed to teach their children, but the truth is, there are so many times my children teach me! This was another one of those times. First, I was reminded of the importance of spending time having fun with our kids. I know the four-wheelers had something to do with it, but just the fact that he was spending time with his dad was pretty special to him. I'm sure that afternoon is one he'll remember for a very long time.

Second, I was struck by this simple, yet profound prayer. He didn't ask for a single thing. Just thanked Jesus for the things that he appreciated. And he ended by thanking Jesus for dying on the cross for our sins.

It made me stop and think about my own prayer life. All too often my prayers are a list of things I wish God would do for me or someone I love. I know God desires us to ask Him for things. But I wonder how much more effective my prayers would be if I would focus less on the asking and more on the praising.

In the first chapter of Philippians, Paul tells us, "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

God did not treat me as my sins deserve, but sent His Son to die for me so that I could be called His child. And He has continued to lavish me with blessings I am so unworthy to receive. Tomorrow, my morning quiet time is going to be spent thanking God for His grace and continued faithfulness in my life. This could be another transformation for me - brought on by the innocence of a child.

A Challenge From My Friend:

I could survive for 51 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Another List

A few reasons why I love Lansing Christian School (just a few; there are lots more, too!):

• Two days ago Lukas said, "Leaving school is my least favorite part of the day."
• Stefan has already made a new friend this year.
• Tomorrow Lukas wants to get the salad bar for lunch. (He is learning all about the food pyramid.)
• Scripture memory verses.
• Stefan was having trouble focusing on his math homework this weekend. As I sat there saying, "Stefan, do your homework!" I realized I really am grateful that I don't have to force him to do his work every day. It has been good for our relationship to eliminate the student/teacher aspect.
• The second day of school Lukas told me, "I love Mrs. Jackson!"
• Grandparents' Day is coming up and the boys are so excited!
• Today on the way home, Stefan said, "I don't mind getting up at 6:30 if that's the only way we can go to Lansing Christian."
  
• The teachers are not afraid to talk about tough issues. Both my boys know all about the upcoming election, and they are only in 1st and 3rd grades!
• A curriculum called "Everyday Math" that makes mathematics practical and much easier to understand.
• Lukas brought home a note from a boy in his class the other day that said, "Thanks for letting me be your friend."
• Praise and worship every Monday and chapel every Friday, plus Bible classes
• They teach Spanish in elementary school. Although this could be a bad thing if my boys can speak a language I can't speak...

Worship

One of the most fulfilling aspects of my life is serving on the worship team at our church. I have loved singing ever since I can remember. In fact, one of my most treasured possessions as a little girl was a Debby Boone record (yes, I said record!) that my aunt had bought me with the song "You Light Up My Life" on it. According to my mom, I knew every word by the age of 2.

I have also sung in church ever since I can remember. Being a pastor's kid, I was part of children's trios, quartets, and ensembles from the time I was big enough to walk up onto the platform. I sang my first solo in church when I was in the fourth grade, in a children's musical called "Angels Aware." I've been singing in church ever since, and even had the incredible opportunity to tour with the Continental Singers the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. But I never really understood the difference between a singer and a worshiper until I started singing at Trinity.

When Lars and I first went to Trinity we were immediately drawn in by the incredible worship experience. We decided to audition for the team, and I will never forget that experience. The Director of Worship Arts at that time said to us, "We check our egos at the door." Right off the bat, we knew that at this church, worship is not about the individuals who might be up on the stage. It's about God, the One Who is worthy of so much more than we have to give. It's not a performance. It's engaging in worship of our Lord and Savior.

Through struggles in my own life, God has brought me to a new level of intimacy with Him. (If you haven't read my testimony from back when I first started my blog, you can read all about those struggles if you'd like.) Now, worship is a very personal acknowledgment of my daily need for Him. It is a proclamation of Who He is, an act of surrendering my will and embracing His. It is my heart crying out the fact that I don't understand why He has reached down to me with grace I am so unworthy to receive. It is a joyful expression of my gratitude for what He has done for me.

It is amazing to me that God would use me to bring honor and glory to Him. That He would take my passion and spread it among His people as we worship corporately. That He not only accepts my meager offering - the best I can give but not perfect by any means - but delights in it!

This weekend after all three services we had a "ministry expo" at our church, trying to help fit people into areas of service where God has gifted them and might be calling them to serve. I had the opportunity to talk to several people who were interested in serving in the worship department. Then our current Director of Worship Arts laid out a set of expectations for the group so they could be fully aware of what is required of the volunteers in our department. Here is a small part of what he said:

"If you are going to serve in the worship arts department, you must have a dynamic, ongoing relationship with Jesus Christ. If you don't, you really need to set serving aside for the time being and invest in your relationship with Him. It's not about any one of us, but it's about the person of Jesus Christ. If you want to be front and center and have all the attention on you, then you need to find another place to do that. In this house, all the attention and praise goes to Christ."

It seemed fitting that the verse Lukas is working on at school this week is Colossians 3:17 - "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." That is what I strive to do as I serve at Trinity. I hope that is what you strive for in whatever area He has uniquely gifted you, too.

Slowing Down

Week 2 of school and it's much harder to get out the door in the mornings than it was on day 1.

Lukas did pretty well this morning, but Stefan was dragging his feet. I had to play the mean mom and insist that he was going to school despite the variety of illnesses he suddenly claimed to have. When I asked him why he didn't want to go to school he said, "I just hate getting up in the morning!" I can't blame him for that, but I also couldn't let him stay home.

I went into the kitchen to get their breakfast and let the dog out, since Lars is in Arizona and I'm on my own for a week. When I went to retrieve the dog (he's small and has to be lifted in and out the back door), I discovered our neighbors' German Shepherd that weighs more than I do had decided to venture into our yard. Again. I grabbed Pudge and brought him in, thankful that at least we have a small dog.

My father-in-law drove the boys to school today, and as soon as Stefan saw that "Papa" was taking them he was fine. One problem solved. The neighbor dog wasn't phased by getting sprayed with the garden hose, though. Second problem not solved.

Once they were on their way I was ready to head to work. I put Pudge in his kennel, opened the door from our kitchen into the garage, and hit the button to open the big garage door. Before I knew it, the neighbors' dog ran right into our house. Fortunately she turned around and ran back out after I yelled at her for a few minutes. It must have been quite a sight!

By the time I got into my car I was glad to just take a deep breath. I thought of Psalm 46:10, which says, "Be still, and know that I am God," and wondered if I will ever again have time to be still. And then God put a school bus in front of me and forced me to slow down.

It seems like recently the time I spend in the car is the most quiet I experience all day. The drive to the office after dropping the boys off at school is my time to surrender them into God's hands - something I have to make a conscious choice to do on a daily basis. The drive to pick them up at the end of the day is a chance to lift up the concerns of my family and friends. I guess God must have known I needed a little extra time this morning, since he put that bus in front of me on the short drive from our house to Youth Haven.

I suppose I could have gone around the bus, but I actually enjoyed those few extra minutes before being thrust into the day's work. (If the boys had been in the car with me I would have heard, "Just pass them, Mom!")

In his book The Life You've Always Wanted, John Ortberg suggests that we should each find times within our day to intentionally slow down. Don't pass the slow-moving school bus. Choose the check-out lane with the longest line. Most of the time, slow drivers and long check-out lanes frustrate me. Today I took Ortberg's advice, and it was refreshing to drive a little more slowly and talk with my Father.

It seems strange that my car should be my special place to spend time with Him, but as a busy mom I'll take what I can get.

First Day of School

Today was the first day of school. I have to admit, I am not one of those moms who looks forward to the start of the new school year. I know the boys will have a great time with their friends and learn a lot, but I miss spending my days with them.

I am not at all opposed to public schools. We chose to enroll our kids in Lansing Christian because we wanted a Christian education for them, and as LCS grads ourselves, it was an easy choice to make. Last year they both had wonderful teachers who made the transition from home schooling easy for them. (And it was reassuring to Mom to drop them off knowing they had Christian teachers who loved them and cared for them.) They had a blast, learned so much, and made a lot of new friends.

I will confess, when this day started drawing near, my mother's heart wanted to keep my kids at home and start home schooling again. But when I raised the subject with them, they both insisted that they wanted to go to school. In my head I knew it was the right thing to do, but my heart still had a hard time letting them go.

When we got to school this morning, though, all of that changed. After we dropped the boys off in their classrooms, parents were invited to stay for a special chapel. First of all, it was incredible to hear the student body worshiping together. Worship is a passion of mine, so to realize my kids are experiencing that on a regular basis at school is so rewarding to me!

The most powerful thing was at the end of the chapel time. The students all gathered on the floor of the gym and the teachers stood around them. The parents then surrounded them, and there was a special time of prayer to dedicate the students, teachers, faculty, and this coming school year to the Lord.

I am so grateful for a school where we can gather together and pray like that. It was a chance for me, in spite of all my fears, to remind myself that they are in God's hands, and how much more will He care for them than his teachers can!

This is going to be a great year.

Update on My Parents

Just a quick update since it is 10:42 on Saturday night and I have to be at church by 7:30 tomorrow morning to sing...

My dad is doing well and was actually released from the hospital today, which was earlier than we were originally told. He doesn't like hospitals (who can blame him!) so that was good. It was also good because it means the doctors feel confident that his foot is healing as it should be.

Before he was released, my mom moved a few of their things to Youth Haven this morning, so they are there now. The big move will take place in a couple of weeks, and hopefully he will be a bit more mobile by then. He will start dialysis in Jackson on Monday, and my mom will start working in the Youth Haven office on Tuesday.

Naturally, we are thrilled to have them close by and the boys are looking forward to being able to "stop by" a couple days a week after school.

Thanks for all of your prayers! Please continue to pray for healing and for both my mom and dad throughout this transition. My dad will have not only the physical hurdles to overcome, but also the emotional struggles of leaving pastoring after 38 years. My mom is doing an amazing job, but I know she is sometimes apprehensive about starting a new job and trying to make sure she is properly caring for my dad. Just a lot of changes that will take some getting used to. The people in my mom & dad's church have been wonderful and will have a retirement open house for him the afternoon of October 19. We appreciate the way they have loved and cared for my parents.

I'll write more later. I hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day weekend!

God is in Control

Just when I think I'm doing really well at leaving things in God's hands, something happens to remind me how bad I am at fully surrendering my will to Him.

This evening I learned that my dad will have surgery on Thursday to amputate a toe. Without going into too much detail, I will just say that it has to be done as quickly as possible to help remove the risk of an infection spreading to his blood. This will be his second surgery this summer.

I know that God is in control, and that He has a plan for my dad's life. I would like that plan to be smooth sailing from here on out. Unfortunately, that's not the way it works in this life. And it's hard to see someone you love so much experiencing this degree of physical difficulty.

Tonight as we said our bedtime prayers, I listened to Stefan pray, "Please help Grandpa's surgery to go well, and please don't let anything bad go wrong." The voice of an eight-year-old expressed the very words that were in my heart.

I am praying for healing, for strength, for guidance for the surgeons, and for no complications. I'm praying for my mom, that God will lift her up as she supports and cares for my dad. I'm praying for my dad's spirits, that he will not be discouraged.

My dad doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. But when you love someone, being there for them is not a burden! So I will be at the hospital on Thursday and do whatever I can to help care for him afterward. It's the least I can do after all my parents have done for me. I am truly blessed to have both of them in my life.

Surrender doesn't come easily to me, but it does come as God gently urges me closer to Him. I don't know what tomorrow brings, but He knows, and He will be there to see us through.

Thank you for your prayers.

Family Vacation

We're back from our family vacation and I can start blogging again! Here are a few pictures and bits of information about what we did:

A visit to Mackinac Island was one of the highlights of the trip. We took our bikes and rode around the Island, stopping to visit several places along the way. We went to the Butterfly House, of course, which the boys especially love because they also have a python. We looked through Fort Mackinac and also climbed up the Mission Point Tower. The boys said that was their favorite thing we did, because they had a lot of information about ships and shipwrecks in the Great Lakes.

We visited Petoskey State Park on two different days to spend some time at the beach. One day in particular, there were a lot of big waves. Stefan and Lukas loved the waves and were swimming like fish, riding the waves up toward the shore. It was fun for me to watch because I remember doing the same thing when I was a kid. I had my bathing suit on but it was a little too chilly for me that day so I didn't join in the fun. But honestly, watching them was all the fun I needed! Lars and the boys also flew a stunt kite for a little while.

We spent several afternoons up at the Mackinac Bridge. One day we went through Colonial Michilimackinac, which we have seen before but is always fascinating. Lars and I both said it's hard to imagine people actually living their lives there. The boys loved seeing them shoot the cannon and going through all of the different buildings they have set up to represent colonial times. We also visited Historic Mill Creek one day. It's a working sawmill that is completely powered by water. They gave a demonstration of sawing logs by hand and then showed how much faster the sawmill was. This picture is of us in front of the sawpit where they did the hand sawing demonstration.

I think one of the best things for me was to just to see my kids enjoying so many of the things I used to enjoy on our family vacations when I was a kid. Here we are at Arch Rock on Mackinac Island. (Ignore the hair - we were all wearing bike helmets all day!) We had a great time together as a family!

Grace

You've got to love technology. I am actually typing this from my husband's laptop in our car as he drives our family up to Harbor Springs for our summer vacation. I don't know if I'll be able to upload any pictures until we get home, since we only have Internet access using his phone as a modem. I have no idea how it works, but I'm glad to be married to a technical guru!

Since I am in the car, this won't be long, but I had to share this special moment between my kids and me this week. On Thursday, we went to my mom and dad's church for Vacation Bible School in the evening. Lars has an astronomy presentation he shares with the kids at Youth Haven, and my mom had asked him to come share it with their VBS group for family night.

Before the program began, the boys and I were sitting in the chairs in the sanctuary. I was trying to keep them from fidgeting and getting too rowdy, so we played this little game where each of us had to tell one thing we thought would be really cool. Here's how it went:

I said I thought it would be cool if I could open my mouth wide enough to fit their heads inside. Hey, sometimes with 8 and 6 year old boys you just have to be goofy, right?

Lukas said he thought it would be cool if he never had to go to school but could stay home and play all day.

Then it was Stefan's turn. In all seriousness and innocence, he said, "What if there was no sin in the world?"

I love that he was thinking on that level! Yes, it would be really cool if there was no sin in the world. Leave it to my 8-year-old to bring that thought into a silly moment.

Unfortunately, there is sin in the world, and because of that Jesus had to die on the cross. But I am so grateful he was willing to sacrifice himself so that I could become a child of God. I am also grateful that both of my children have accepted him as Savior.

This leads me to my next thought: if there was no sin in the world, there would be no need for forgiveness, no need for grace. If that were true, would I love God as much as I do now? Would I acknowledge my need for Him and depend on Him from day to day?

The truth is, my life on earth is so much richer because I know that I am a sinner and God loves me anyway. Even as His Son hung there on the cross, He saw my every fault, every failure, every sin - and believed I was worth the price He paid. That is so amazing to me!

It would still be "cool" if there was no sin in the world, because it would mean no pain, suffering, or death. I can't change the fact that sin exists, but I know I have been cleansed from all my sin by the blood of Jesus. Grace. Now that's cool.

Creative Genius

Yesterday I clipped some branches from my hydrangea bush and brought them inside to enjoy. This morning I noticed an elaborate spider web had appeared between two of the blossoms. I found the spinner: a tiny black spider, about the size of a sesame seed. I didn't have the heart to kill it, so I gently lifted the branch from the vase and put it outside.

Normally I'm not a big fan of spiders. Or any other kind of bug, for that matter. But you have to admire a creature who can spin something as spectacular as a spider web. If I could have captured its beauty on camera I would have, but a photo wouldn't do it justice. It was perfectly symmetrical, an incredible geometric design of lines and angles that, I would venture to guess, couldn't be more evenly spaced if you used a ruler and compass to create it.

The most amazing thing about the web is that the spider was only doing what God created it to do. It's just another example of our God's creative genius. Truly, my admiration is not of the spider, but of the awesome God who created it. Yes, the web serves a purpose for the spider, allowing it to capture its food. But it is also a thing of great beauty, especially when the light shines on it and illuminates the silky strands. And it all comes naturally to the spider, because that's the way God made it. It doesn't expect praise or recognition for its web; it just goes about its task with diligence.

It makes me wonder, how much effort do we expend on things that don't matter, when if we would just do what God created us to do, it would be such a thing of beauty!

There are so many self-help books out there, so many people telling us, "Do this and you'll be happy," or "Follow my five-step plan and you're sure to achieve success." We don't need to strive after all of that!

God has uniquely gifted each one of us. If something comes naturally to you, chances are it is a gift from God. And our giftedness is as individual as our fingerprints. Imagine how breathtaking this world could be if we would each diligently do that one thing God has created us to do - letting Him get the glory and not seeking praise for ourselves. Then, when we let His light shine on our efforts, He will illuminate them in such a way that people will say, "What an awesome God!"

Colossians 3:23 & 24 - "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Martha Syndrome

Are you like me? Do you find yourself cleaning the house a little bit more thoroughly when you know someone's coming over?

I do my best to keep the house clean on a regular basis, but life with two boys is pretty busy and sometimes the dirt in the little nooks and crannies doesn't get cleaned up. You know what I mean. The little places where the vacuum doesn't reach. Who has time to get down on their hands and knees and clean those places regularly?

It's hard enough to keep the visible places clean! If you have boys, you know what I'm talking about. A little while ago, my parents came to visit and we were getting ready to go out for dinner. Of course, everyone has to use the bathroom before we go anywhere. We have a toilet in our laundry room, and I said to my parents, "You can use that bathroom if you want to. It's clean." To which Lukas quickly replied, "Yeah, it's really clean! I haven't even peed on the wall yet!"

Cleaning is a constant task that always lurks over a young mother's head. I've come to realize that my goal of having all the laundry washed, dried, folded and put away before more dirty laundry appears in the basket is unattainable. I've been trying since Stefan was born and have finally conceded. It's impossible.

But when company is coming, I catch myself scouring even those hard-to-reach places. I hear the words escaping my mouth... "I can't believe how dirty this is! I don't want people to think we actually live like this!" Hmm. We actually do live like this. Maybe a more accurate statement would be, "I don't want people to know we actually live like this."

Why do I feel this way? Would my family and friends really think less of me if they saw a dirty handprint on the sliding glass door? Of course not! It's just the Martha Syndrome coming out in me.

Luke 10 tells the story of two sisters, one sitting at Jesus' feet, the other bustling about the house trying to make sure everything is just so. Finally, Martha has had enough. "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," Jesus says. "You are worried and upset about many things..." He could be speaking directly to me. And I'll bet if we're honest with ourselves, most of us could insert our names in place of Martha's and it would be a pretty accurate description.

Jesus goes on to tell Martha that Mary has chosen the better thing, and it will not be taken away from her. In a nutshell, none of that other stuff matters. It's easy to get so busy preparing for someone to come over that you don't actually enjoy the company. I know I have that tendency.

I was working in the office the day Lars' cousin Derek arrived from Tennessee, and I hadn't realized he was arriving that day. As I smiled and hugged him, I took a mental inventory of our house. Was it clean enough to invite him over? And then I realized I was being ridiculous. Lars and I love Derek and we hadn't seen him in a long time. The boys would be so excited to see him. Besides, he is 1) in college, and 2) a guy. Trust me, he would not care about the condition of the house. We had him over and we had a great time. And you know what? I didn't even worry about the toys that were left out!

But there's another lesson here, too. Mary wasn't just socializing with a friend or relative. She was sitting at the feet of Jesus. Now, I know there are times when I've neglected my quiet time with Christ because I was busy with other details of daily life. Like Martha, I am worried and upset about many things. I need to get over that Martha Syndrome. I want to be more like Mary and choose the better thing.

The Good Old Days

Life was so much simpler when all I had to worry about was which stuffed animal to sleep with and what kind of candy bar I wanted to buy at the dime store with my 25 cents. And so, in honor of "The Good Old Days," here is the promised list of some of the things I miss about being a kid.

• Picking strawberries at Great Grandma's house. I think more of them ended up in my mouth than in the basket, but they were so good! (That's me on the right and my sister on the left.)
• Wiffle Ball World Series in the backyard - boys vs. girls, and we won almost every time!
• Riding our bikes to 7-eleven to buy Slurpees, then being hot and thirsty again by the time we got home.
• 5 candy bars for $1.00 - the Sunday treat at 7-eleven on the way home from church.
• Spending the night at Grandma and Grandpa's house, then waking up on Saturday morning to a breakfast of jelly-filled doughnuts from the IGA or bunny-shaped pancakes (my grandpa's handiwork). And who can forget the three hours of Bugs Bunny cartoons?
• Chasing each other around the house with squirt guns.
• Dancing around the floor while Grandpa played his guitar and harmonica, Dad and Great Grandma accompanied him on harmonicas, and Grandma sang.
  
• Christmas morning. Need I say more?
• Sitting around the campfire, our eyes watering from a combination of the smoke from the fire and laughing so hard at each other's jokes.
• Family trips. That's a list for another day.
  
• The excitement of back-to-school shopping and choosing the all-important Trapper Keeper. Getting the right design could make or break your whole school year!
• Bedtime stories. My dad read us real books, like The Last of the Mohicans (edited as he went, of course). I think that's part of the reason I developed such a love for reading.
• Feeling special because my mom came to school to help out in our class.
• Day trips to Frankenmuth and getting to choose my favorite flavor of candy stick.
• Getting together with our cousins and making the adults endure our "programs" that we loved to perform.
• Going to Camp Barakel as a family when my dad would speak there. I loved the smell of the woods in the summer time, and in the winter it would be so cold your nostrils would stick together. But we could spend hours at the tubing hill, then duck into the warming tent for hot chocolate. There was nothing like it!
• 4th of July fireworks in Bay City with our best friends.
  
• My dog Kaye.

This list really could go on and on. I had no idea when I was a kid how fortunate I was. Most importantly, I was loved and Christ was the center of our home. My prayer is that someday my kids will feel the same way about their childhood.

Wrestling Match

I've been wrestling with God. Not a knock-out, drag-down fistfight, but a wrestling match. Trying to get a hold on Him and pin Him down. Hoping maybe I can slip out from under His control and win the contest. Just this once.

Today God decided He'd had enough with me and wrenched my hip (Genesis 32:22-30). And He used a book title and a song to do it.

Rewind to last week. My dad had a very serious surgery to bypass an artery in his leg. The surgery took several hours, but he came through it fine and is now recovering at home - a slow, painful recovery, compounded by the reality of dialysis three times a week.

I hate feeling helpless, and I think probably the most difficult thing for me to deal with is knowing someone I love is suffering and not being able to do anything about it. I want to be able to help him. I want to make him better.

And then I find myself saying to God, "This isn't fair! He's served You all his life. Why does he have to go through this?" Even as I type it I know it sounds like a whining child. But now the wrestling match has begun: my will vs. His will. I have no chance of winning.

This has been going through my mind for the past few days, this back-and-forth, basically one-sided conversation. It isn't fair. Well, then, what is fair? I love my dad, but face it, we should all be grateful God has not treated us as our sins deserve. Still, it grieves me so to see him like this.

Now I remember when I called my dad in tears the night before my grandma's quadruple bypass surgery and he asked me, "What are you going to do when I'm not here?" I don't want to think about that. But for the first time in my life I'm being forced to acknowledge that someday he won't be here. "You'll get through it, and you'll be fine," he tells me. I know that. In my head I know it. My heart tells me something different. So I keep wrestling.

I know God has the power to touch my dad this very moment and completely heal him. Spring his kidneys back into action. Take away the diabetes. Give back the darkened eyesight. God could do it in an instant. But I don't think He will. Because God has a purpose for my dad's illness.

That's the realization He gave me today that was the wrenching of my hip. I was putting some books away and came across the book by Max Lucado called It's Not About Me (an excellent book that I highly recommend, by the way). Immediately the words to this song popped into my head: "It's all about you, Jesus, and all this is for you - for your glory and your fame. It's not about me, as if you should do things my way. You alone are God and I surrender to your will." He pinned me. The match is over.

It's time for me to stop telling God how I wish He would do things and just let Him be God. No, I still don't understand why my dad has to go through all of this, but I know God has a reason for it. And when it comes down to it, I'm glad He's the one who is in control, because if I was, I would sure make a mess of things.

I love you, oh Lord my strength.

Today we celebrated our nephew's first birthday. As part of the celebration, Lars' brother and sister-in-law had a special family time of dedicating Niklas to the Lord. Just as they had done with their daughter, they chose a life verse (chapter, in this case) for him. It was Psalm 18 - my life passage.

The first part of this chapter is a section of scripture that I have committed to memory and recite in my mind whenever the worries come. For me, it is both a precious promise and a steadfast resolution. Here is what it says:

"I love you, oh Lord my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer. My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies."

The precious promise is that I can find refuge in God. He is strong when I am weak. He is a rock that cannot be moved, and He will deliver me! If I will just call on Him, He will save me from my enemies. Now, I am not running from people who are trying to kill me the way David was, but I have a very real enemy called Satan who tries his best to bring me down. It's awesome to know that God will deliver me from his grasp!

There's a second part of this promise that I hope I can properly describe. God is my shield. For some reason, I had always envisioned a soldier's shield as a relatively small circle or oval of metal that he would hold in front of his chest to protect his heart. I don't know about you, but that wouldn't make me feel all that protected. It wasn't until I watched the movie Troy that I got a true visual of the type of shield the psalmist was describing here. In that movie, the soldiers went into battle with very large shields that they would set on the ground in front of them and hide behind. In doing so, their entire body was protected from the onslaught of the enemy's arrows. That's the kind of shield my God is for me when the enemy attacks! I love that visual.

The steadfast resolution is my part of the bargain. The promise in this scripture only applies if I am willing to surrender my own will. I have to quit trying to do it all on my own and seek refuge in Him. And I resolve to love Him through the good times and the bad. He will be my strength, but only if I let Him. That's not always easy for me to do. And that's why I have made these my life verses. They not only reassure me with such an amazing promise of refuge and deliverance, they also challenge me to let Him be my source of strength.

And so, my sweet little Niklas, I pray that you will never in your life know fear and worry the way I have. But, if you do, I pray that you will cling to the verses your mom and dad have chosen for you, find your strength in the Lord, and love Him in all things!