The Mackinac Bridge

The Mackinac Bridge. It's a beautifully impressive structure that rises above the waters of Lake Huron and Lake Michigan, connecting Michigan's lower and upper peninsulas. But to me, it's so much more than that. It's a piece of my childhood.

I can't tell you how old I was the first time I saw the Bridge. But I can tell you that in that moment, the Mackinac Bridge was forever etched on my heart.

When I was growing up, we didn't have a lot of money to travel the country or stay in fancy hotels. We spent most of our summer vacations camping in Northern Michigan. I'll be honest, there were times when I grew tired of camping. I never slept well, it often rained, and I have always hated public bathrooms.

But to this day, I think back on those times with great fondness. My brother, sister and I spent hours dreaming up wild adventures. We were courageous explorers, traversing the woods behind our campsite in search of firewood. We were mega-millionaires, sipping drinks while the breeze of our tropical paradise gently rocked the hammock. We were deep sea divers, discovering new species of minnows and other sea creatures at the bottom of the lake.

We laughed a lot. We played a lot of games. And we were together.

The Mackinac Bridge was always one of my favorite places to vacation. We would eagerly watch for the towers to appear in our line of sight as we neared the northernmost point of the lower peninsula. We could hardly contain our excitement when we would drive across the massive structure and look down upon the waves below. And we loved to huddle together on the sandy beach, waiting for the sun to go down and the colorful lights on the Bridge to illuminate the night.

Someday, I hope my boys will look back on these times we have spent together and recall similar memories with fondness. I also hope their childhood doesn't become a memory as quickly as mine seems to have. I'd like to hang onto these years for a little while.

"Come Back Soon"

Tonight the Arizona Ranch staff came over for dinner to wish us a safe trip back to Michigan. When they came, they brought this with them. It says, "Come Back Soon & We Love You." It was signed by all the staff and the Ranchers who were here this week.

Here are a couple of the Ranchers' comments that brought tears to my eyes:

"I'll miss this camp so much because of how awesome it is."

"I'm going to miss you."

"Hope you will be here soon to teach me about stars." (Lars does an astronomy chapel with the kids each week.)

"We love you guys! Come back soon!"

It's amazing that we can have this kind of impact on a child's life in as short as one week's time. What an incredible privilege to be used by God. And 17 of them accepted Christ as Savior this week!

Our staff out here are a committed, hard-working, incredible team. More than a team. They're family. I have grown to love each and every one of them. It's hard to leave right in the middle of the summer when I feel like we need each other.

The flip side is, I am very excited to see my family in Michigan again. I love them and miss them terribly. I've been homesick for my mom and dad, and I wished I could have been there to help my sister when she had kidney stone surgery this past week.

I'm just thankful that God has given me another family to love. Growing closer to the staff out here has been such a blessing to me. No, we are not related biologically. But we are related by blood - the blood of Jesus Christ that makes us sisters and brothers in a very real way.

So going back to Michigan is a bittersweet thing. I will cherish every moment with my mom and dad and the rest of my family. And then I will be thankful to see my second family again when we return to Arizona.

I love this ministry.

Boys

I love having boys.

Lukas is 8, and he is still my cuddler. In fact, last night, Stefan and Lars had gone into Lowe's, and Lukas and I sat on the couch watching a movie. Lukas said, "I like to cuddle." That's a mother's delight!

Stefan is now 10, and wants so much to be a grown up. I am so enjoying watching him transform into the man he will someday be. I have especially seen two things in him this summer that will be such great qualities for him to have.

The first is a protective instinct. The other night, one of our girl team leaders was coming over to our house, and she had to walk across the campus from her dorm - in the dark. Stefan said, "Should I get my flashlight and go get her? I can walk her over."

Now, I'm sure there are some people in the world of feminism who would say I should teach him that women don't need a man's help. I disagree. I believe God created us differently for a purpose, and we should celebrate those differences. He created us to need each other and mutually help each other. I'm not saying that women are the weaker sex, just different. And we can't complain that chivalry is dead when we've sent our sons the message that women don't need - or want - their help. The simple act of holding a flashlight for a woman walking in the dark doesn't mean, "You can't do this without me. I am the strong one." It means nothing more than, "I care about you and I want to help you."

That was just a little bonus paragraph. :-)

The second thing I have seen in my boy is a strong work ethic. This pleases me greatly, because sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get him to do his school work! But he has begged to go over and help in the kitchen, serving the boys and girls their food. Our cook has assured me that he is a great help to her.

I can't tell you how this blesses a mother's heart... not only because he is showing me what a hard worker he is, but also because he wants to serve. He wants to help make a difference in the lives of these kids. He's heard his dad often say that one of the greatest ways we can minister is to hand a needy child a plate of food. My boy was listening!

Stefan and his dad have a special bond. A big part of that is the simple fact that they are so much alike. In fact, people who knew Lars as a kid tell me that seeing Stefan is like seeing Lars all over again. They talk about stuff that goes right over my head! I'm glad they have each other to talk "techie" to.

And I am glad that my boys have a dad who wants to be with his kids. As I type this, Stefan is back at the well with his dad, helping to fix yet another problem with the well that provides water to our entire campus. It would have been easy for Lars to say no, since I'm sure he's doing an awful lot of explaining and supervising a 10-year-old. But I'm grateful that he takes these moments to teach and encourage our boys.

This week, at one lunch time, one of the younger boys who is here as a Rancher came up to Lars and hugged him out of the blue. As we were talking about it later, I told Lars I believe it speaks to the need those boys have for a man to love and care about them. Most of them have dads who don't care. Some of them don't even know who their dad is. They need male role models who will pour into them and show them that they are worth something.

I am so grateful for a husband who cares about his kids and has committed his life to helping other kids find that love and hope. I am also grateful for the two incredible boys God has blessed us with. He has been far too good to me.

When I Am Afraid...

So the Lord God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this,

"Cursed are you above all the livestock
and all the wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.
And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and hers;
he will crush your head,
and you will strike his heel."

Genesis 3:14-15

I hate snakes. Even the ones that are harmless. I hate them and have always hated them. There is something very unsettling about those scaly creatures slithering about on the ground. Who would have ever thought I would be living in a place where I cross paths with diamondback rattlesnakes?

I have seen three of them in the past four weeks. Ugh. The first one was already dead by the time I saw it, thanks to my husband. The second was stretched out and lazy, non-threatening, although a bit frightening just because of its potential to become threatening. Last night, I stepped right next to one and watched it coil and rattle. I am thanking God for protecting me - and Lukas, who was a few feet ahead of me.

We have learned not to walk across the desert floor without a flashlight in the evening. Most of the campus here has sidewalks, except between the chapel and our house. That's where I had this little encounter.

I admit, it shook me up for a little while. Last night I was thinking, "Lord, I don't know if I can do this. I want to go back to Michigan where there are no rattlesnakes." And then I realized Satan was attacking me, trying to sabotage the ministry Lars and I now have at the Arizona Ranch.

I have absolutely loved being a part of the program here. I've been helping to lead songs in chapel, I've helped serve lunch, and the kids are talking to me at meal times. Some of them come to the Ranch regularly, so I know their names and they are getting to know our family. I've never been in a position where I've been directly with the kids like this before. I love it, and I love them.

And I'm sure this drives Satan nuts. He doesn't want me to be a witness to these boys and girls, because he wants their hearts. So he is trying to frighten me away. How fitting that he would use a snake to do it.

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose words I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.... For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life." -Psalm 56:3-4a, 13

God has protected us. He will not stop now. Satan will not win this battle.

God's Ways are Higher than Ours

Today I was once again reminded that God's ways are higher than ours.

We are in the midst of our first full week of summer camp here at Youth Haven in Arizona. This morning, one of the girls who was here for the week became ill, which unfortunately sometimes happens.

While she was waiting for her parents to come pick her up, our Health Officer, Joy, took her to the First Aid apartment to rest. They had a chance to talk one-on-one, and the topic of the previous evening's chapel came up.

Chapel had focused on John 3:16, and Joy herself had been the staff member who gave the plan of salvation to the kids. Now, here she was with a sick child, having the opportunity to talk to her personally about what had been shared.

In the course of the conversation, the little girl accepted Christ as her Savior.

Joy was so excited about it when she told me. "She accepted Christ before she went home," she said. "If I hadn't had that one-on-one time with her, I don't know if she would have."

All of us felt bad that she was sick and had to go home. But God had a plan and purpose for her illness. It provided an opportunity for Joy to help her understand how to enter the family of God. And she asked Jesus into her heart!

As a mom, I don't want bad things to happen to my kids. I hate it when they're sick, hurt, or sad. I want them to be happy and healthy. No tears, no pain. When they hurt, I hurt.

My problem is, I don't see the big picture the way God does. And the truth is, when He allows those things into my kids' lives, He intends to use them for His good and perfect purpose.

I am grateful that both of my kids have accepted Christ as Savior. And if it had come as a result of pain or illness, I would be grateful for that catalyst.

Sometimes it's hard to let go of what I want and trust in God's plan. But I must, and I will. After all, His ways are higher than mine.

God's Protection

When I praise my Father in spite of my fear, Satan is defeated and God's peace washes over me. Psalm 8 and Psalm 91 are two of my favorites in those times.

I memorized Psalm 91 several years ago when I began struggling with anxiety and panic attacks. I find that those nights when I have trouble falling asleep because my thoughts are racing, it helps to recite Scriptures like these:

Psalm 91:9-13

⁹ If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

¹⁰ then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

¹³ You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

Many nights I have lain awake, going over and over these verses in my mind. Today I saw this promise fulfilled - particularly verse 13.

The boys and I were getting ready to walk over to the other side of the Youth Haven campus here in Arizona. Kids were scheduled to begin arriving for registration in a few minutes, and I help by babysitting our Children's Program Director's 2-year-old so that he and his wife can be there to register the children.

Stefan went out the door first, I followed, and Lukas came out behind me. There was an arrow lying on the ground, and Lukas bent over to pick it up.

"Mom, there's a rattlesnake at our door," he said.

At first I didn't think it was alive. It wasn't coiled, it was just stretched out along the wall next to our door. All three of us had stepped within inches of its head. Then I saw its tongue flick out, and I knew it was alive.

Let's just say we hurried away from the house and found Lars, who headed back to play the role of exterminator. I will not be stepping out the front door or allowing the boys to step outside without checking from now on!

Last night, we had the staff over for the final evening of summer orientation. We were asked to share with each other our favorite verse, or one that is especially meaningful in our lives. I had shared that Psalm 91 was particularly meaningful to me. I'm tempted to say it's ironic that I saw the promises contained in those verses fulfilled the very next morning, but it's not irony. That's how God works.

I have prayed for God's protection while we are in Arizona this year, and I know others are praying for us as well. I should be expecting that He will protect us. It's just so much easier to say it than it is to believe it. Sometimes I feel like my faith is so small when I allow something like a rattlesnake to stir up fear within me.

Today I had the opportunity to say to my boys, "Let's thank God for protecting us." We came to Arizona to do His work. I realize now that He also brought us here to help us grow. I pray that I will be responsive to His cultivation.