Plans for the Future

Jeremiah 29:11-13 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Since arriving in Arizona in the middle of January, Lars and I have been earnestly seeking God and His plan for our lives.

It began as a gentle nudging, just a thought in the back of both of our minds, about a year ago. A question, really: "Is God telling us that He wants us to go to Arizona?"

If you read my previous post about Moses, then you'll remember that I tend to have conversations with God in which I express my fears and hesitations to Him. For a long time, I convinced myself that God couldn't be calling us to Arizona. Not me. I'm the kid who always got homesick. Never could spend an entire night at a friend's house. Cried for four days at Camp Barakel in 6th grade. Surely He wouldn't ask me to go that far away from my mom and dad.

"My grace is sufficient."

That's the simple answer. The answer I have felt so strongly in my mind for the past couple of months as Lars and I have prayed and thought about this. And that's why we've reached the conclusion that God is calling us to Arizona for a time. We're committing to spending the next year at Youth Haven in Arizona, and after that we'll see where God is leading.

It has been so awesome to see glimpses of His plan coming together. So many little things have taken place, like pieces of a puzzle beginning to come together. We can start to see the image, but as God continues to fit the pieces in their proper places, a grand picture will come into full view. Then we will look back and realize that He used us to make it all happen.

I don't know what God has in store for us or the Youth Haven ministry out here, but I do believe that whatever His plan is, it will be great. No, it's not Africa, Papua New Guinea, or another foreign country. But it is a mission field. Just like Youth Haven in Michigan is a mission field, reaching out to boys and girls who may not ever hear about Jesus if we don't share it with them.

I'm excited about the future for the Arizona Ranch ministry and for our family. I know I'll miss my family and friends, but I am honored that God would choose to use us to accomplish His plan.

It's almost as if I can hear Him saying, "Just wait until you see what I'm going to do." It's going to be amazing!

Knowing

A thought just struck me that I wanted to share, especially with fellow moms.

I know my kids better than anyone else does. Their likes, dislikes, fears, joys, struggles, personality quirks - I know them all.

I know that Stefan likes strawberry jelly on his toast but blackberry jelly on his sandwiches. He hates math and writing but loves science and music. He likes to know why and how things work, and anything technological comes easily to him. He loves to build and make things. And he loves spending time with his dad.

I know that the only kinds of cheese Lukas likes are mozzarella and Parmesan. He just hates school altogether, preferring the social to the academic. He is kindhearted and will be the first to give up something that someone else wants. He loves animals and wants to open his own zoo someday. He still likes to cuddle with Mom.

We moms know our kids like this. In most cases, we have spent at least the first five years of their lives with them pretty much nonstop. In my case, it's even more than that, because they are home schooled. When they have a need, we are the ones they call. We know them because we have invested this time into their lives.

As I was thinking about this, I was struck by the fact that God knows me on an even deeper level. He not only knows those things I am willing to share with Him, but every thought I try to hide. He knows my needs before I even ask Him. He knows my deepest fears, my greatest joys, my strengths, and my weaknesses. And He understands them.

He knows me this intimately because He created me. He lovingly formed me with His hands, every fiber of my being.

He knows everything about me, and He loves me anyway.

Moses

I love Moses.

Of all the humans in the Bible, both men and women, he inspires me more than any other.

It is so amazing to me to think about a man with whom God spoke, face to face. A man who experienced such intimacy with God that his own face became radiant.

Yet what inspires me about Moses' story is what takes place long before that moment on Mt. Sinai when he has a close encounter with the Almighty. It's a scene that takes place in the middle of nowhere, when God calls out to a man on the run and changes his plans in a mighty way.

Here he is, an Egyptian prince turned shepherd. A husband. A father. A murderer. Nevermind that he was trying to protect a fellow Israelite. He struck a man and killed him, and as a result fled the land where he had been raised in the palace of the pharaoh.

Enter Zipporah, the beautiful princess of a Midianite priest. Suddenly, things are looking up for Moses. He gets the girl, a job, and a safe place to live.

Except that just when he thought he had it all figured out, God came down with a presence like fire. He spoke from the flames that danced about the branches of a bush, and the course of Moses' life was forever changed.

This is what inspires me about the story of Moses. He didn't do anything to earn the calling God placed on his life. He was a sinner, just like I am. But for some reason, God chose him as a vessel to display His mighty power.

Now, Moses isn't too thrilled with the whole idea. In fact, he actually argues with Him. "I'm not good enough. What if they don't believe you sent me? I'm not an eloquent speaker." And finally, "Please send someone else." And this is why I really love Moses. I don't like my plans being changed either, even if it is by Almighty God.

I'm ashamed to admit that, like Moses, I have had my share of arguments with God. Because even though I know He has a good and perfect plan, I'm still afraid of the unknown.

What I find interesting is that God did not get angry with Moses until he asked Him to send someone else. As long as Moses was expressing his fears to God, God answered him reassuringly. "I will be with you. I will perform mighty signs and wonders. I will give you the words to say." It was only when those things didn't satisfy Moses and he asked God to let him off the hook that God's anger burned against him.

I believe God desires for us to be open and honest with Him about our fears. He already knows they're in our hearts anyway. For me, there is something so helpful and healing in just speaking those words to Him. Laying it all out there, in the open, rather than denying that I feel them.

Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

These are the verses I cling to in those moments when God seems to be changing my plans, and I'm afraid of what that might mean. God invites me to bring my requests to Him. He already knows them, yes, but He so desperately wants me to come to Him with all my fears, all my needs, all my desires, and pour my heart out to Him.

And when I do, I find it much easier to say, "God, you know how I feel, but I trust You, and the only place I want to be is in the center of Your will." That's the peace He promises. It's what gives me the strength to say, "Thank you for going with me," instead of, "Please send someone else."

As you know, Moses did obey, and God did what He had promised. And, I believe, Moses' willingness to bare his soul to his Creator led to a relationship more intimate than any other human has ever experienced with God on earth.

Moses saw God face to face. Someday I will, too. Until then, I'll share my heart with Him and commit to following His call. What a privilege to be used by Him!

Reign in Us

When I hear people complain about contemporary praise and worship songs, it really frustrates me. I agree that some of the old hymns have great lyrics. However, some of them also have lyrics that no one even understands. ("Here I raise mine ebeneezer?")

There is a wealth of worship music written by contemporary artists that beautifully expresses my longing for Jesus. These are words I embrace. Words I cry out to Him from my heart and they mean something to me. This is one of my favorites, by Starfield:

Reign in Us
Written by Ben Glover, Jon Neufeld, Tim Neufeld

You thought of us before the world began to breathe,
You knew our names before we came to be.
You saw the very day we'd fall away from You,
And how desperately we'd need to be redeemed.
Lord Jesus, come lead us.
We're desperate for Your touch.

Oh, Great and Mighty One,
With one desire we come,
That You would reign,
That You would reign in us.
We're offering up our lives,
A living sacrifice,
That You would reign,
That You would reign in us.

Spirit of the Living God fall fresh again,
Come search our hearts and purify our lives.
We need Your perfect love, we need your discipline,
We're lost unless You guide us with Your light.
Lord Jesus, come lead us.
We're desperate for Your touch.

Oh, Great and Mighty One,
With one desire we come,
That You would reign,
That You would reign in us.
We're offering up our lives,
A living sacrifice,
That You would reign,
That You would reign in us.

We cry out for Your life to revive us, cry out
For Your love to define us, cry out
For Your mercy to keep us
Blameless until You return.

Oh, Great and Mighty One,
With one desire we come,
That You would reign,
That You would reign in us.
We're offering up our lives,
A living sacrifice,
That You would reign,
That You would reign in us.

So reign, please reign in us,
Come purify our hearts,
We need Your touch,
Come cleanse us like a flood
And send us out,
That the world may know You reign,
You reign in us.

Arizona Update

I used to love winter. Snow, cold, I didn't care. Just bundle me up and let me go outside. When I was a kid, I even wanted to live in the mountains in Montana!

That was before I experienced winter in Arizona. It's so nice to be able to go outside without coats, hats, and mittens! There are no muddy boots and soaking wet snowpants dripping water all over the floor.

Before we had kids, we said that we would not allow the TV to be a babysitter. Well, we were blessed with active kids who definitely do not sit in front of the TV all day! They are out the door the minute they finish school. The Youth Haven playground is one of their favorite places to be. It's nice that we are able to live right on the Ranch grounds while we're out here.

Grammy and Papa have been here for the last couple of weeks, too. Grammy took Stefan and Lukas to the ostrich farm that's across the highway from the Ranch. They are the ugliest birds I've ever seen, but as my boys would quickly remind me, God loves every creature He created.

For the past couple of days, both boys have been "helping" the staff and volunteers repair the front entrance sign at the Ranch. It was blown over during the storm we had shortly after we arrived. Today, when Stefan came in for lunch, he informed me that he needs to get a job doing maintenance work around the grounds. Sometimes I wonder where my little boy went. At least he still lets me give him hugs, as long as none of his friends are around.

We let the boys have a day off from school today so that they could spend the day with Grammy, since she is flying home tomorrow. They persuaded her to take them over to Picacho Peak, and they climbed up quite a ways. It's one of their favorite places to go when we're out here. Unfortunately, it is one of 13 State Parks that are being closed over the next few months due to budget cuts. We plan to go as a family at least one more time before it closes.

I appreciate snow at Christmas time, but now that Christmas is over, I'm thankful for the opportunity to enjoy some sunshine and warmer temperatures during the winter months!