Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like you've given everything you have to give, and it's still not enough?
If you're a mom, I know you understand what I'm talking about. It's the day when you took your kids to the zoo even though you really didn't want to go, simply because you knew they would delight in the special, limited-time-only exhibit. You spent more than you should have on lunch because they wanted the kids' meals that came in the special giraffe bucket. You even handed the conductor your money with a smile on your face as you boarded the train that would take you on a 20-minute ride around the zoo because you knew it would make your children happy. After all, isn't that what we moms strive to do? Make our kids happy?
Oh, but at the end of the day, there is no escaping the zoo without walking through the souvenir shop. And you know this is going to end badly. Nevermind all you have just done for them, or even the smaller souvenirs you are willing to buy for them. Their eyes are fixed on the one thing they want but can't have because the price tag is too high. So what do you get in return for your day of catering to them? Begging, whining, tears, pouting, and not a single thank-you.
Yet even as I scold my kids for their unappreciative attitude and wonder why they can't just be content with what they have, I realize I often do the same thing. Instead of seeing the many blessings God has lavished on me, I beg for more and, admittedly, whine and pout when I don't get my way. Shame on me.
So today I just want to focus on a few of the things that are blessings in my life.
I am thankful for a husband who has given his life to serve God. Who knows that helping a child in need discover the love of Jesus is more important than having a growing savings account. Who pitches baseballs and flies kites with our boys. Who loves me even when I make loving me hard.
I am thankful for two incredible, healthy boys who care so much about other people. They have both asked Jesus into their hearts, and I know they genuinely want to follow Him with their lives. There is no greater blessing than that for a mom. And as much as I miss them being little, I love being able to have conversations with them that keep me laughing, thinking, and teaching.
I am so grateful for godly parents who have been an incredible example to me in their lives. I'm thankful that my dad is still with us and for the medical care that makes that possible. I'm thankful for a mom who teaches me every day what it means to be a loving, supportive wife. And I'm grateful for the testimony that both of their lives have always been, and continue to be, to me.
I'm thankful for my church, the ability to serve on the worship team there, and the love I have for my brothers and sisters there.
I am grateful for the ability to work from home and spend my days with my boys. Home schooling is a tremendous joy for me, in spite of the complaining I hear every day at math time!
There are so many others, this only begins to scratch the surface. But most of all, I am grateful for a Father who has not treated me as my sins deserve. I am grateful for a Savior who willingly shed his blood so that I could live. I am so unworthy of such a gift.
I'm not really all that fond of New Year's Resolutions, mainly because I know I can't keep them in and of my own strength. So I guess I'm not really making a resolution, but I am asking God to help me to be content. To see His blessings for what they are, and to refuse to fix my eyes on something I want instead. Because He truly has given me everything. And it is enough.
