I am blessed to have the most amazing mom in the world.
I've heard that when a girl grows up and gets married, she's likely to marry someone who is like her dad. That didn't come true with me, which is probably a good thing, because I am just like my dad. So I married someone with a personality very much like my mom.
It's funny, because now that my mom works in the Youth Haven office, she and Lars can share stories. Lars will come home and say, "The more I listen to your mom, the more I realize you are just like your dad."
I've also heard it said that behind every great man is a great woman. I grew up witnessing that. My dad never had wealth or fame, but he is a great man of God. I know he would be the first to say that she is a big part of who he is today. Since they have moved closer to us, I have enjoyed the chance to spend more time with them again. I have caught glimpses of my dad watching her as she works around the house, and I can see the love in his eyes.
My mom taught me what it means to partner with your husband in ministry. I learned by her example how to support and encourage my husband through good times and hard times. I have watched her stand faithfully by my dad's side, stepping out of her comfort zone at times, doing whatever needed to be done with a smile on her face.
She also taught me how to be a mom. I have so many great memories of my childhood, because we had so much fun together as a family. My mom even used to run around outside the house with us during our squirtgun fights! She was always there for us, volunteered in our classrooms, encouraged us and expected us to do our best, and cared for us when we were sick. I never for a second of my life doubted my mom's love for me.
My mom still encourages me and gives me strength even when she doesn't know she's doing it. She is like my husband in that she knows what to say to help ease my mind when I am worrying about something. Maybe it's because of her years of experience with my dad's worries. My dad and I are definitely the emotional responders, the worriers. My mom isn't that way. She is quiet and strong, able to pray about things and leave them in God's hands without worrying. Lars is that way, too.
My mom is smart, talented, and hardworking. But most of all, she is a servant. I have no doubt that her primary love language is acts of service. She is always giving of herself, caring for others and doing whatever she can for other people. When I think about the woman described in Proverbs 31, I can't help but think about my mom. So, since today is her birthday, I thought it only fitting to "rise up and call her blessed."
Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
A Small Sacrifice
God has been doing something in my heart lately. Setting something into motion. I'm not sure what the final result will be, but there's no doubt in my mind He is moving.
I've already written about our decision to spend the next year in Arizona, and our belief that this is truly God's will for our family and for Youth Haven. It was a decision that I really struggled with, but He continues to affirm to me that this is part of His plan.
About ten days ago we held our annual appreciation dinners for people who have given their support to the Ranch ministry. I watched and listened as the children sang their songs, said their verses, and gave their testimonies. And God gave me a new passion for what we are doing in their lives.
I've always known this is God's ministry, and He gets the glory for the changed hearts of these boys and girls. It is undoubtedly amazing to think about the thousands of kids who have been impacted by their experiences at Youth Haven and the staff who had the privilege of sharing God's love with them.
But as I looked at each of their faces that Sunday afternoon, this scene from the movie Schindler's List came to my mind:
Oskar Schindler: I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don't know. If I'd just... I could have got more.
Itzhak Stern: Oskar, there are eleven hundred people who are alive because of you. Look at them.
Oskar Schindler: If I'd made more money... I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If I'd just...
Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of what you did.
Oskar Schindler: I didn't do enough!
Itzhak Stern: You did so much.
[Schindler looks at his car]
Oskar Schindler: This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people.
[removing Nazi pin from lapel]
Oskar Schindler: This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this. (sobbing) I could have gotten one more person... and I didn't! And I... I didn't!
I believe God brought this scene to my mind, to help me realize that yes, He is doing a great work through Youth Haven, but there is so much more to do. More children who need to hear about Jesus. When you're talking about meeting the needs of a child and teaching him or her about the love of Christ, leaving my home in Michigan for a year seems like a small sacrifice.
I've already written about our decision to spend the next year in Arizona, and our belief that this is truly God's will for our family and for Youth Haven. It was a decision that I really struggled with, but He continues to affirm to me that this is part of His plan.
About ten days ago we held our annual appreciation dinners for people who have given their support to the Ranch ministry. I watched and listened as the children sang their songs, said their verses, and gave their testimonies. And God gave me a new passion for what we are doing in their lives.
I've always known this is God's ministry, and He gets the glory for the changed hearts of these boys and girls. It is undoubtedly amazing to think about the thousands of kids who have been impacted by their experiences at Youth Haven and the staff who had the privilege of sharing God's love with them.
But as I looked at each of their faces that Sunday afternoon, this scene from the movie Schindler's List came to my mind:
Oskar Schindler: I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don't know. If I'd just... I could have got more.
Itzhak Stern: Oskar, there are eleven hundred people who are alive because of you. Look at them.
Oskar Schindler: If I'd made more money... I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If I'd just...
Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of what you did.
Oskar Schindler: I didn't do enough!
Itzhak Stern: You did so much.
[Schindler looks at his car]
Oskar Schindler: This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people.
[removing Nazi pin from lapel]
Oskar Schindler: This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this. (sobbing) I could have gotten one more person... and I didn't! And I... I didn't!
I believe God brought this scene to my mind, to help me realize that yes, He is doing a great work through Youth Haven, but there is so much more to do. More children who need to hear about Jesus. When you're talking about meeting the needs of a child and teaching him or her about the love of Christ, leaving my home in Michigan for a year seems like a small sacrifice.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Giving
You've often heard the saying, "It's better to give than to receive." Getting a kid to grasp that concept can be a tricky thing, though. Their friends have things, so they want those same things. It's only natural in our humanness to want more as opposed to giving more.
So this week, my boys warmed my heart with their generous spirits.
It started when my father-in-law took the boys into town with him and they did some shopping together. Stefan spent $10 of his own allowance money to buy a CD for his cousin. I told him that, since her birthday was coming up, I would pay him back and we would use the CD as part of her birthday gift from us as a family.
A few nights later, we were at dinner with some friends of ours. We had gone to a restaurant called Mimi's, which just happens to be Stefan's favorite. Our server was new at the restaurant and did a great job. About half way through our meal, Stefan said to me, "Mom, do you remember that you told me you would pay me back for Lauren's CD? Can I have that money now?"
"I don't have the cash in my purse right now," I said. "Why do you want it?"
"I want to leave our server a tip," he said.
"That's very sweet of you," I answered, "but Dad will leave the tip for her when he pays our bill."
He seemed content with that at first, but a few minutes later he came back to where I was sitting. "How much is a typical tip?" he wanted to know. I explained that you tip a percentage of your bill, so if he was going to tip her, it would be based on how much his meal cost.
"Dad, how much was my meal?" He asked. Lars told him the price of his meal and what the tip should be. I fished in my purse until I found the quarters he needed and handed them to him.
"Just subtract that from the amount of my allowance," he said. His brother quickly adopted the idea, and I gave him the rest of the change I had in my purse.
At the end of our meal, as we were getting ready to leave, Stefan approached our server and handed her the change. Lukas handed her his change, too. They were a little shy, so I explained, "They wanted to give you their own tips."
"Oh, that's so sweet," she said. I think they made her day.
As if that weren't enough, Lukas took it a step further yesterday. He had bought a package of blue modeling clay and was having so much fun with it. Our friends were at the Desert Ranch from Nashville, and they have a 9-year-old daughter named Ellie. Unfortunately, they had to leave yesterday. Lukas took his blue clay and used it to make a gift for Ellie. For him, that was quite a sacrifice, since it meant he wouldn't have the clay to play with anymore.
I am so proud of my kids for learning this concept of giving of themselves to benefit someone else. I hope and pray that it will be something that continues for the rest of their lives. And I am grateful that God has blessed me with such amazing kids, whose actions often cause me to stop and consider my own.
So this week, my boys warmed my heart with their generous spirits.
It started when my father-in-law took the boys into town with him and they did some shopping together. Stefan spent $10 of his own allowance money to buy a CD for his cousin. I told him that, since her birthday was coming up, I would pay him back and we would use the CD as part of her birthday gift from us as a family.
A few nights later, we were at dinner with some friends of ours. We had gone to a restaurant called Mimi's, which just happens to be Stefan's favorite. Our server was new at the restaurant and did a great job. About half way through our meal, Stefan said to me, "Mom, do you remember that you told me you would pay me back for Lauren's CD? Can I have that money now?"
"I don't have the cash in my purse right now," I said. "Why do you want it?"
"I want to leave our server a tip," he said.
"That's very sweet of you," I answered, "but Dad will leave the tip for her when he pays our bill."
He seemed content with that at first, but a few minutes later he came back to where I was sitting. "How much is a typical tip?" he wanted to know. I explained that you tip a percentage of your bill, so if he was going to tip her, it would be based on how much his meal cost.
"Dad, how much was my meal?" He asked. Lars told him the price of his meal and what the tip should be. I fished in my purse until I found the quarters he needed and handed them to him.
"Just subtract that from the amount of my allowance," he said. His brother quickly adopted the idea, and I gave him the rest of the change I had in my purse.
At the end of our meal, as we were getting ready to leave, Stefan approached our server and handed her the change. Lukas handed her his change, too. They were a little shy, so I explained, "They wanted to give you their own tips."
"Oh, that's so sweet," she said. I think they made her day.
As if that weren't enough, Lukas took it a step further yesterday. He had bought a package of blue modeling clay and was having so much fun with it. Our friends were at the Desert Ranch from Nashville, and they have a 9-year-old daughter named Ellie. Unfortunately, they had to leave yesterday. Lukas took his blue clay and used it to make a gift for Ellie. For him, that was quite a sacrifice, since it meant he wouldn't have the clay to play with anymore.
I am so proud of my kids for learning this concept of giving of themselves to benefit someone else. I hope and pray that it will be something that continues for the rest of their lives. And I am grateful that God has blessed me with such amazing kids, whose actions often cause me to stop and consider my own.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Trust
Yes, those are my boys. Up on the roof.Several buildings at Youth Haven's Arizona campus were in need of new roofs after a terrible storm came through and caused some substantial damage. Naturally, when the roofing crew came to replace the damaged roofs, Stefan and Lukas wanted to be in the middle of the action. They are boys, after all, if not yet men.
Having boys changes you in a lot of ways. I used to be afraid of things like snakes and spiders. Before I had boys, I would never have touched a bullfrog, allowed an animal handler to drape a python around my neck, or held a nail against a board hoping the hammer swung by 7-year-old hands would miss my fingers.
I can't tell you how many times my mother's instinct has sent me running out the door yelling "Don't do that!" "Get down from there!" or "Stop before you hurt yourself!"
One of the toughest aspects of parenting for me has been not allowing my fears to inhibit my kids. I want them to experience life to its fullest, not grow up being afraid to do or try things. Oddly enough, it was a line from the movie Along Came Polly that made me realize this. At one point, the main character says, "I had a mother who made me afraid of everything." I don't want to be that kind of mother.
Certainly that doesn't mean I throw all caution to the wind and let my boys do whatever they want. There are plenty of times when I step in as their mother and prevent them from doing something dangerous. Their judgment isn't as good as mine yet. They're only 9 and 7. But I am also learning to let them be boys and have their adventures.
It's a trust thing, really. When I allowed the boys to go up on the roof, I knew they were with my father-in-law. I trusted him. They were in the capable hands of someone who loves them very much.
Every day of their lives, I have to remind myself to trust their Heavenly Father. He loves them more than I can even imagine, and I don't want them anywhere else but in His hands.
The truth is, I can't protect them from the hurts and hardships of this world, no matter how hard I try. All I can do is help them understand that when those hurts and hardships come, God will be there to see them through.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I can do All Things through Christ
Have you ever had one of those days when you felt like you just wanted to throw in the towel? I have. Had one today, in fact.
Actually, it started last night when, just after we finished a nice dinner with our friends, I turned the water on to start cleaning up the dishes. Only no water came out. Turns out the well pump here at the Arizona Ranch had burned out, and so we were without water until a new one could be purchased in the morning.
Morning came, and no one had the right pump in stock. Without a single clean dish in our house (I don't have that many out here to begin with), I fed the boys Pop Tarts for breakfast and we started school.
Let's just say it was a tough school day. We have them every once in a while, but today was especially bad. At 3:40 p.m. Stefan still was not finished with his work. He is a great kid and I love him dearly, but for some reason he decided to challenge me today and protest everything I said. There was plenty of fit-throwing and a lack of respect going on today.
I hate being at odds with my kids. But I had to discipline him for this behavior, so I took away his bike for the rest of the day. He whined and cried, but I didn't back down. I know that as parents we have to teach him that there are consequences for disobedience.
It was just one of those days where I found myself saying, "I can't do this anymore." By the time he did finish his work, I had actually downloaded, printed, and completely filled out the enrollment forms for Lansing Christian for the 2010-2011 school year.
At this point, the well pump was fixed, so I hopped into the shower... only to have the water shut off again just after I had put the conditioner in my hair. I had to rinse it out using a bucket of cold water that we had gotten when the pump died in the first place. A nice, hot shower would have been helpful after a stressful day, but I guess that wasn't to be, either.
(We still have no water as I type this, by the way.)
Sometimes it's easy to get upset over little things, isn't it? I thought about this as I was having a pity party for myself, just wanting to go home to Michigan where everything is familiar. And God made me very aware of my selfish human nature.
A few weeks back, we were a part of a missions conference at a church nearby the Ranch. After the service there was a dinner, and we had the opportunity to sit and talk with a young missionary couple who work with the Mibu people in Papua New Guinea. They are home for a year because they are expecting their third child, but soon after it's born they will head back to their remote village to resume their mission work.
They are sacrificing so much more for the sake of the Mibu people than I can even imagine. They face a language barrier that makes it difficult to communicate. The nearest town is a 3-day walk. Hot showers and running water are luxuries. They will not get to see their families for a very long time. And here I am, complaining about my day.
I think that Satan is trying to discourage me because Lars and I have made the commitment to follow God's calling out here. This is undoubtedly a battlefield for the hearts of boys and girls who will someday be ambassadors for Christ. If Satan can discourage me, he can completely ruin our effectiveness in our ministry here. I can't let him do that.
So I press on, with gratitude for all God has given me. I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength.
Actually, it started last night when, just after we finished a nice dinner with our friends, I turned the water on to start cleaning up the dishes. Only no water came out. Turns out the well pump here at the Arizona Ranch had burned out, and so we were without water until a new one could be purchased in the morning.
Morning came, and no one had the right pump in stock. Without a single clean dish in our house (I don't have that many out here to begin with), I fed the boys Pop Tarts for breakfast and we started school.
Let's just say it was a tough school day. We have them every once in a while, but today was especially bad. At 3:40 p.m. Stefan still was not finished with his work. He is a great kid and I love him dearly, but for some reason he decided to challenge me today and protest everything I said. There was plenty of fit-throwing and a lack of respect going on today.
I hate being at odds with my kids. But I had to discipline him for this behavior, so I took away his bike for the rest of the day. He whined and cried, but I didn't back down. I know that as parents we have to teach him that there are consequences for disobedience.
It was just one of those days where I found myself saying, "I can't do this anymore." By the time he did finish his work, I had actually downloaded, printed, and completely filled out the enrollment forms for Lansing Christian for the 2010-2011 school year.
At this point, the well pump was fixed, so I hopped into the shower... only to have the water shut off again just after I had put the conditioner in my hair. I had to rinse it out using a bucket of cold water that we had gotten when the pump died in the first place. A nice, hot shower would have been helpful after a stressful day, but I guess that wasn't to be, either.
(We still have no water as I type this, by the way.)
Sometimes it's easy to get upset over little things, isn't it? I thought about this as I was having a pity party for myself, just wanting to go home to Michigan where everything is familiar. And God made me very aware of my selfish human nature.
A few weeks back, we were a part of a missions conference at a church nearby the Ranch. After the service there was a dinner, and we had the opportunity to sit and talk with a young missionary couple who work with the Mibu people in Papua New Guinea. They are home for a year because they are expecting their third child, but soon after it's born they will head back to their remote village to resume their mission work.
They are sacrificing so much more for the sake of the Mibu people than I can even imagine. They face a language barrier that makes it difficult to communicate. The nearest town is a 3-day walk. Hot showers and running water are luxuries. They will not get to see their families for a very long time. And here I am, complaining about my day.
I think that Satan is trying to discourage me because Lars and I have made the commitment to follow God's calling out here. This is undoubtedly a battlefield for the hearts of boys and girls who will someday be ambassadors for Christ. If Satan can discourage me, he can completely ruin our effectiveness in our ministry here. I can't let him do that.
So I press on, with gratitude for all God has given me. I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength.
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