Living "On Mission"

I tried an experiment tonight, and it taught me something about myself. Before I share the experiment and the lesson with you, though, I need to give you a little bit of background information.

I have never been very good at striking up conversations and making small talk with people I don't know. It always feels awkward to me. I never know what to say until I'm walking away from the person, at which point I'm usually thinking about what I should have said, and how ridiculous I must have sounded instead.

So you can imagine how challenged I felt when our pastor talked about living our lives "on mission" every day. He shared about a repairman who came to his home, and how God convicted him about taking the opportunity to plant the seed of the Gospel in that man's mind.

Our pastor pointed out that each one of us is on an important mission, and no one is brought into our lives by accident. Some of us will plant a seed, others will water it and cultivate it, and still others will harvest the fruit.

In Luke 10:2, Jesus told his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." There are so many people with whom we might brush shoulders throughout the course of a day who are ready to accept Jesus and his grace, if only someone would reach out to help them take that step. We need to pray for more workers in God's Kingdom - and then be ready for Him to put us to work, too!

My grandma is a perfect example of that. We have always joked about how everyone she ever meets comes away from that first meeting knowing her entire life story. But she never wastes an opportunity to plant a seed. Or cultivate one that someone else planted. For over 80 years she has been a worker in God's Kingdom, and I don't think she plans on retiring!

So, on to my experiment. Tonight I had to get groceries in a crowded Meijer. Normally I smile and say hello to the cashier, but that's about it. Tonight, however, I decided to strike up a conversation with her. To be "on mission." The whole time she was ringing up my groceries, we talked about different things. And, believe me, I go to the store as infrequently as possible, so I had a lot of groceries to be rung up. By the time I left, she said, "It was nice talking to you." And I truly felt the same.

Here's the thing, though. I had no idea how to say something about Jesus. This is one area where I am completely at a loss. I don't spend a lot of time with non-believers, since I work at a Christian organization and we don't have our boys in a public school. How can someone who has been in the church her whole life be so clueless when it comes to planting those seeds?

Maybe it's just as simple as saying, "Jesus loves you." And not caring whether or not they're muttering, "Man, she was a weirdo," as I walk away.

I want to live "on mission." I really do. So I'm praying that God will send me out into His harvest field, and that He will give me the understanding I need to do the job He has for me. I'd appreciate any prayers you'd be willing to lift up for me, too.

Parents and Friends

I recently read the statement that our kids don't need us to be their friends, they need us to be their parents. I had to stop and think about that one for a minute.

Certainly, there are parents out there who are so concerned with making their kids happy that they refuse to discipline them when necessary. They give in to every one of their kids' desires instead of making tough calls in order to help their kids learn and grow. I'm sure these are the kinds of parents to whom this statement was directed.

Still, when I think about what a friend is, I find this statement to be a little off the mark.

A true friend is someone you can always count on to be there for you, through good times and bad. Someone who will celebrate with you during your triumphs and moments of joy, and then hold you while you cry together during the dark times. Someone who is proud of your accomplishments rather than jealous of them and speaks words of encouragement when the going gets tough. A true friend is your greatest ally, defender, and cheerleader.

A good friend is not afraid to speak the truth in love, even when it means confronting you when you are wrong. That friend holds you accountable in your walk with Christ and expects you to do the same for her. Good friends help each other to become better people.

A true friend is someone in whom you feel comfortable confiding your deepest fears and admitting your weaknesses, because you know she loves you unconditionally and will do her best to help you through those struggles.

When you have a good friend, you desire to spend time with that person, and you have fun together. It's someone who can make you laugh, even when you feel like crying. It is someone with whom you share life, and it is a comfort to know you're not alone.

When I think of friendship in those terms, I believe that is exactly what we need to be for our kids. If they are to see Jesus in us, then we must be "a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24).

And so I think that our kids don't need us to be their playmates. But they do need us to be their parents and their friends.

Stefan and Me

I don't mean to be repetitive, but Stefan wrote another note that I wanted to share. Not just because I think he did a good job, but because it sort of expresses my heart, too. Here it is:

"Right now I am faced with a problem. I love my cat, home theater, and most of all my family, but I also love Arizona and hate the snow. Even though most of our friends are in Michigan, we have friends out here like: Owen, Caleb, and Alec. I do have one friend that will always be there for me. My tree, Lucky, is a good friend. I climb my tree, relax at the top, and talk to it. I always feel better after doing that. In Michigan my friend is Tiger. I am glad I have them, and everyone else, but they are always there for me. With Lucky, and all my other friends out here, I can have lots of fun. So I guess you have to choose where to be at points."

In so many ways, Stefan is a clone of his father. He looks like him and has definitely inherited the ability to understand technical things like his dad. But he has my eyes. And they say that the eyes are the window to the soul. Stefan and I have souls that are so much alike.

The past year has been a bit unstable for our boys, with a lot of traveling back and forth between Arizona and Michigan. We have spent a lot of time away from our home and family. There's no doubt, it has been difficult. But it has also been wonderful. We have all grown to love Arizona in a new way, and we love the staff at the Arizona Ranch like family. So it is with mixed emotions that we prepare to leave for Michigan again. We can't wait to see our family again and sleep in our own house. But we will miss our Arizona "family" and the beauty of the desert.

Then there is the issue of the tree. I have seen him up in that tree many times, and I know how much he loves to climb trees. Although I wasn't much of a tree climber as a child, I did love the little circle of trees that grew just beyond our back yard at the edge of the field behind our house. It was my "thinking spot." I could wander around, singing whenever I felt like it, airing my grievances, or just talking about nothing in particular. No one heard me but the trees, but it felt good just to say what was in my heart. So I don't mind if my son talks to a tree, even if once in a while he tells it that he thinks his mom is being unfair. I had my share of conversations with trees, too.

And, finally, we come to his cat. Stefan and his cat, Tiger, have a special bond. There's no doubt about it. Tiger sleeps on Stefan's bed with him every night. The last time my mom watched Tiger for us while we were in Arizona, she said that he would let her pet him and scratch under his chin, but he wouldn't purr for her. The moment we got home and he was reunited with Stefan, he was purring so loudly I could hear him across the room! When I was a kid, I had a special bond with our black lab, Kaye. She was supposedly my brother's dog, but she and I were pretty attached to each other. I would lie on the floor with my head on her like a pillow. I would tell her all my problems, just like I told the trees. She never told me I was silly or stupid or being ridiculous. She just listened and loved me. She was always there for me. Just like Tiger and Stefan.

I see so much of myself in Stefan, which at times can be a scary thing. I hope I'll be able to help him through some of the struggles I've faced in life. Even if I don't know how to help him, at least I know how to pray for him. And he knows that I will always be there for him, too.