Blessings

Okay, it has been a while since I've written. Actually, our friends just had triplets and I've been spending all my "blog" time reading the updates about their little ones' progress. They are doing remarkably well, and it has been a joy for us to see God at work through this amazing blessing in their lives.

This leads me to my topic for today: blessings. It's easy for me to look at the birth of healthy babies and say, "what a blessing!" But today I was challenged to see God's blessings in my daily life - and who better to challenge me than my eight-year old!

I love to watch HGTV, and in the middle of one of the shows I was watching, they used the term "Dream Home." Stefan happened to be in the room at the time and asked, "What's a dream home?"

"The house you've always wanted to live in," I replied.

"Is this our dream home?" He asked.

"Well, it's not a mansion," I answered, "but yes, you could say it's our dream home."

"So the second house you live in is your dream home?" (This is the second house he has lived in during his life.)

"Not necessarily," I said. "Some people never get to live in their dream home."

"I guess we should be really thankful, then." Out of the mouths of babes...

"Yes, we should."

I'll admit, I have a tendency to look at our house and see the things I wish we could do: finish the basement, build a deck, add some landscaping. I forget how blessed we are to have such a lovely home. In fact, I forget how blessed I am in a lot of other areas, too.

So here are just a few of the blessings for which I am praising God today:

• A cross, some nails, a crown of thorns, and blood that was willingly spilled by a loving Savior
• The faith of an eight-year-old
• A husband who loves and serves God wholeheartedly and is also devoted to his family
• The wonder of eight- and six-year-old boys
• A Christian school that teaches biblical foundations
• A church that worships with passion and a country that gives us the freedom to do so
• The gift of music and the ability to use it for God's service
• The chance to be part of an awesome outreach like Youth Haven, where kids experience God's love
• A beautiful new home for my family
• Never having to send my children to bed hungry
• A car that is safe and dependable (and gets good gas mileage!)

These are a few of my blessings. What are you thankful for?

Exercise

I'm tired of exercising. Five times I week I psyche myself up to go downstairs, turn on the treadmill, and run three miles. Not as far as some of my friends run, but I'm not aspiring to run a marathon, or even a half-marathon. In fact, I don't even really like running all that much. It would be easy for me to give it up, except that I always feel so good afterward.

When I was taking a fitness class in college, our instructor had us watch a video of Jane Fonda (the fitness guru) giving healthy living guidelines. She said, "You have to eat right, exercise, and do it for the rest of your life."

I suppose that's the way it is with any form of discipline. We do certain things because we know they're good for us. If we stop doing those things, even for a short time, we notice the change almost immediately. Running gives me energy, helps my body stay healthy, and makes my heart stronger. That's why I make myself do it regularly. If I take a break from it for some reason, I notice a difference in the way I feel. I notice it even more when I start running again! It takes a few days to get back in step. And now that I'm over 30, my knees are quick to let me know I've taken too much time off!

So I make it a priority to run those three miles five times a week. I do it because I want my heart to be strong and healthy. I want to be able to run around with my kids and not have to stop to catch my breath - even when I'm in my forties. (Although they might not be so fond of Mom chasing them around by that point!) I've got two very active boys, and I want to be able to keep up with them. I also want to set a good example for them of living a healthy lifestyle so that they'll make wise choices when they get older.

The same principle applies when it comes to living the life of a Christ-follower. It takes discipline, and sometimes we have to make choices that we don't particularly enjoy, but we know they're good for us: skipping the Oscar-winning movie with all the swear words and unwholesome content or giving a tithe even when it means fewer groceries in the pantry. Sometimes it's hard, but the reward comes later.

It also takes daily devotion to reading God's Word and spending time in prayer. Following Christ requires us to live in contrast to our human nature. We can't choose a path of overcoming temptation without daily help from Him. But we have the instruction manual at our fingertips, if only we would study it and do what it says! And we have direct access to the Author of the manual whenever we need His guidance. All we have to do is ask.

I'm a busy lady (aren't we all?), and it can be easy to say, "I don't have time for that." But if I can make time to run three miles in the midst of a hectic day, I can certainly take the time to talk with my Father. After all, what good does it do me to have a physically strong, healthy heart if it's hardened to what God has to say?

A Man After God's Own Heart

Yesterday was Father's Day, and we spent the day with my family at my mom and dad's house. We got up early enough to go to their church, where I sang and we heard my dad preach, most likely for the last time. My dad will be retiring soon, since his health struggles are making it difficult for him to continue the demanding schedule of a senior pastor.

I never thought there would come a time when I would see my dad step out of the pulpit. He loves to preach. Now, he would be the first to tell you that he never envisioned himself being a pastor when he was younger, but when God called him, he obeyed. And God has given him a tremendous love for preaching His Word. I imagine that for my dad, giving up preaching will feel like giving up singing would feel to me.

It has been a hard year for my dad. It seems like he has had one complication after another, and he rarely feels well anymore. But yesterday, he delivered the gospel message with passion. Then he came home, ate dinner, and played with his grandchildren. Other than moving a bit slower than he used to, he seemed like the dad I remember him to be.

Today he had an appointment with a vascular surgeon to examine his circulation and determine whether he may need surgery on his legs. It's one more example of why he needs to retire. But when my mom and dad first talked to me about him retiring, it wasn't because he's sick, he's tired, and he needs to rest. My mom's words to me were, "He feels like he's robbing the church because he is not physically able to do everything they need him to do."

The last time they were here, my dad was telling me about some of the struggles he has had with the dialysis. At one point, the technician who regularly works with him started to cry and said, "I hate seeing you go through this!" He told me that at that moment, he realized that the way he responds to those difficult things that happen to him is a testimony to the people around him.

I know my dad isn't a perfect man, and there are plenty of times when he gets discouraged. It's hard not to. But he is an incredible man of faith, willing to do - and endure - whatever God requires of him. His biggest fear in leaving the pastorate is that his life will become worthless, and he still wants to be of use to God.

Some time back, I was praying for my dad and God brought to mind Jeremiah 29:11, which says, "I know the plans I have for you..." It was just as if God was saying to me, "I know the plans I have for him." I don't know what God's plan is, but I do know that He will continue to use my dad to minister to those around him - no matter where he is. Even sitting in the dialysis chair, he is a testimony to the people who see his life in action. And when you look closely at my dad's life, it's easy to see that he is a man after God's own heart. I hope my sons will be able to say the same of me someday.

Perspective, Part 2

I saw her the moment I walked into Meijer. She was pushing a grocery cart with a little curly-haired girl riding in the seat. Not an uncommon sight at first glance. But she was different. The thin body, the handkerchief wrapped around her head... they were outward signs of a story I knew without a word being spoken.

As we walked up and down the aisles, I passed them a few times. I wondered what this young woman has to go through day by day. I imagine she is trying to keep life as normal as possible for her little girl, holding onto hope that everything will be okay. I pray that it will.

There are times when I get frustrated and complain about things, when the reality is, I live a charmed life. I have an amazing husband and two great kids, and God faithfully provides for our needs. We have been blessed with good health. Sure, we've been to the hospital a couple of times for minor things with our boys. But there have been no chronic or life-threatening illnesses. No frightening diagnoses. No chemotherapy.

And then I realized the lady I saw in Meijer is representative of so many people who struggle with illness and stare into the face of death every day. Mothers who have to say good-bye to their children. Fathers who pray their families will be provided for. My husband lost his aunt at the age of 34 to breast cancer. It's a sad reality of a sinful world. Hearts are broken. People die.

I am so grateful that, as a Christ-follower, I have the promise of heaven! I have lost loved ones in my lifetime, but I am grateful that each one of them knew Christ, and I have the assurance that I will see them again someday. I'm also grateful that they are no longer suffering the pain, grief and toil that are a part of this imperfect world. They are sitting at the feet of Jesus, and although I miss them, I wouldn't wish them away from there!

I suppose if I've learned something from this, it's that I need to keep things in the proper perspective. Don't complain about the little things. Remember that most things are little. And keep my eyes on the promise of heaven. No matter what happens in this life, someday it will all be right again.

Hidden Potential

This is one of my favorite shows on TV. It's called Hidden Potential, and it's on HGTV. If you haven't seen it before, they take a couple who is looking for a new home and are working with a set budget. Then they find three different houses that are well under the set budget but need a lot of work done. Through the magic of computer graphics, they show the couple what could be done to make the old, worn-down house into their dream home with renovations.

What I love about the show is the mind of the designer. He can look at a house that the couple doesn't like at all and visualize what it could be. He rips out walls, installs new kitchen cabinets and countertops, resurfaces floors, adds windows, and lays out furniture - all on his Mac. Whereas the couple would never choose that particular house to live in, he shows them its hidden potential, and suddenly they see its worth.

It occurs to me that, like some of these old houses, all I need is the touch of the Master Designer to reveal the potential that lies hidden within me. I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't know Christ, and I accepted him as my Savior when I was 4. I've weathered a few storms through the years, and if I'm completely honest, I've neglected some of those areas that need attention.

It's easy for someone who has been a Christian for almost 30 years to slip into a sort of "comfortable" Christianity. When you're fed all the time and have never gone hungry, you don't appreciate the food as much. I found myself in a place a few years ago when I had lost my hunger for God's Word and didn't fully acknowledge my need for His intervention in my daily living. That's when the fear began to take hold.

Fear can keep you from doing all the incredible things God designed you to do. I was afraid to do anything that could expose my kids to illness or injury. I couldn't sleep in hotels, which meant no vacations. I didn't want them to play on playgrounds or be around other kids. Bottom line, I was afraid to be a mom, afraid to let my kids be kids, and I was afraid to talk to anyone.

I am grateful God stepped in and started making changes in my life! He's done a lot already, but I know He still has a long way to go. I still struggle with fears (hotels and public bathrooms!). I'm still afraid something bad might happen to my kids, and sometimes I'm still afraid to talk to people and tell my story.

But, thanks to God's handiwork, the fear no longer controls my life. I know God has allowed these experiences in my life so that I can be a source of hope and encouragement to others who might be facing similar struggles. So I won't let fear keep me from realizing my hidden potential.

A house can't fix everything that needs to be repaired and turn itself into someone's dream home. A designer has to step in and do the work. The same thing is true for us. We can't change our hearts with our own strength. But, unlike a house, we have the ability to either fight the Designer or let Him do His work. I choose to let Him work. How about you?

This Week's List (June 7)

In my last list I said that if I won the lottery, one of the things I would do is travel. So here is this week's list.

Top 10 Places I Hope to Visit (or Re-Visit) Someday and Why:

1. Oahu, Hawaii because I visited there the summer between 8th and 9th grade. My uncle was in the army, stationed there, so we went to visit him and my aunt. It was amazing and I would love to go there again with my family.

2. Maui, Hawaii because I've heard it's even more beautiful than Oahu. I might reserve this one for just my hubby and me.

3. Nottinghamshire, England because it is the last place my ancestors lived before coming to America. We have a picture of the Kirkland homestead and I would love to see where it is - or was. I would also like to visit Scotland during that trip because further back in history my ancestors were from Scotland.

4. Sweden, because Lars' ancestry is from Sweden and he still has quite a few relatives living there. Stefan is named after a cousin in Sweden, and when he was a baby another cousin named Frederick came to visit. I'd like our boys to meet our Swedish family.

5. Glacier National Park, Montana because I've never seen any place more beautiful. We took a trip to Oregon from Michigan when I was 7 years old, and I fell in love with Glacier. The mountains are a stunning piece of God's handiwork!

6. Washington, D.C. because I have never been there but I've always enjoyed American history. I think it would be wonderful for our boys to experience it also.

7. Tyumen, Siberia, Russia because of the amazing experience Lars had there last year. I grew quite fond of the people there just from looking at his pictures and videos and hearing his stories. I would love to meet the men and women he served with while he was there.

8. Venice, Italy just because it seems romantic. I think this is another one for just me and my hubby.

9. The Grand Canyon because Lars and I stopped there briefly on a drive back from Picacho before the boys were born. It is an incredible thing to see, and I know our boys would be fascinated by it. I'd like to take more time to really explore it.

10. The Colorado Rockies because I've been there a few times and it's still one of my favorite places. I just love the mountains, and I want our boys to have a chance to see them.

11. Okay, it was supposed to be 10, but this one is a bonus. Mt. McKinley, Alaska, on a clear day. We had a chance to visit there before the boys were born but it was cloudy and we couldn't see the peak. That is the norm, I hear. Alaska was beautiful anyway, because everywhere you turn there are mountains. The boys would get a kick out of the wildlife. At one point there was a moose just walking down the street!

Maybe I'll have a chance to visit some of these places, maybe not. It's okay because as long as I'm with my family I'm happy. I'll enjoy every single trip we take to the Mackinac Bridge!

Change

Lukas officially finished his kindergarten year today. The school had a special breakfast this morning, and the kids put on a little program for us. They didn't have an actual graduation ceremony, but they did have caps and gowns available for pictures. We were glad they allowed older siblings to leave their classrooms to be part of the celebration.

There were two things that were especially touching to me as I watched the program with tears in my eyes. First, the children have been learning sign language, so they actually signed several of the songs they sang. It was amazing to see a group of five- and six-year-olds singing and doing sign language. What a beautiful sight.

Second, I have a passion for worship, and at Lansing Christian they are teaching the children to worship. I can't begin to describe the joy I felt watching my son declaring that Jesus is "Lord of Lords" and praising Him with his songs.

We really couldn't have made a better decision than enrolling our boys at LCS this year. I'll admit, it was harder for me than it was for them. And now it's going to be hard for me to see them move on to the next grade. Their teachers have been so loving and caring, and helped make the transition from home schooling easy for them. I've become attached to their teachers just as much as they have, I think!

It's more than that, though. It's also the realization that my kids are growing up. First and third grade next year. They're not my "little ones" anymore. And for the most part I'm okay with that. I like the fact that they can be a bit more independent now, and they're good boys. It's fun to be able to carry on an intelligent conversation with them. But there's a part of me that wishes they could have stayed little just a bit longer.

Change is hard. It seems like just when you're getting used to one thing, it all changes and then you have to get used to a new set of circumstances. I am not a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment type person, either. I like everything to be well planned and in order. The problem is, change happens all the time.

I suppose if everything was always the same, always routine, it would get a little boring after a while. I wouldn't want to live a life where I was just going through the motions - mindless actions day after day that all end up being meaningless in the end. Sounds a lot like the Truman Show, doesn't it?

No, I think change is good because it keeps me thinking, constantly challenging me. It forces me to do things that I'm not always comfortable doing, and therefore I have to rely on God's strength, not my own. Change reminds me that, on my own, I can't do anything. But "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" (Phil. 4:13).

So as I drive home from school tomorrow (Stefan has one more day) I will bite my lip, blink back the tears, and thank God for change. I will enjoy my summer with the boys and trust that next year will be full of even more wonderful things for them!

Perspective

This morning I needed to have routine bloodwork done. My doctor orders it every year because of my family history of diabetes. I now have a nice black and blue mark on my arm where the phlebotomist stuck me with the needle.

Just as I was about to complain, it occurred to me that my dad has to endure needles three times a week. He is on dialysis for kidney failure that was caused by his diabetes. And I realized it's all a matter of perspective.

Seeing what my dad has gone through recently has been a struggle for me. My dad is one of the most godly people I know, and he has committed his life to serving Christ. I have seen his faithfulness through tough times, and his life has been a shining example of what it means to have an undivided heart.

That's why it has been hard to watch this physical battle taking place. My dad was always strong and athletic, and now he often doesn't even have the strength to play with his grandchildren. I don't understand why someone who is fully devoted to following Christ has to go through something like this. It doesn't seem fair.

I've never heard my dad say those words: "it's not fair." He knows God has a plan for his life, and he trusts God to do what's best. More importantly, he stays focused on Christ, and when your eyes are on the cross it puts everything in the proper perspective.

If I was to be honest about what is fair, then I would have to admit that I don't even deserve to be here right now. Romans 6:23 tells me that the wages of sin is death, and that means I have earned death more times than I can count. What's not fair is that Jesus took that death - the death I deserve - upon himself when he hung on the cross. And he did it willingly, because he loves me so much he wanted me to share in his inheritance as a child of God!

Suddenly, anything I might have to endure or watch one of my loved ones endure on this earth seems pretty small. It's only because of Jesus that I'm even alive, and for that I'm eternally grateful!