I thought I was prepared.
The last few days of her life, we knew my mom was not going
to get better. We sat by her bedside and watched her slip away from us, little
by little. We had time to say goodbye. We released her from the bonds of this earth
and a broken, weary body into the glories of heaven.
Yet when the time actually came, I was not as prepared as I
thought. To have lost both parents, so young…
So as we drove away from the Hospice home, I dabbed at my
tears with a Subway napkin I found in the center console of the car and tried
to pull myself together.
With tears in his own eyes, my husband said to me, “It’s
almost like your parents were so faithful and so diligent in doing God’s work,
they accomplished everything He had called them to do early, so He took them
home.”
Lars and I both know my parents did not earn Heaven because
of their faithfulness to God. They received Heaven because of God’s
unfathomable grace, the blood of His Son shed on the cross, and an empty grave
that means death on earth is really just the beginning of eternal life with
Christ.
Yet God also rewards our faithfulness to Him: “ Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and
not for men, knowing
that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are
serving the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23-24).
My parents worked heartily, as for the Lord
and not for men, all their lives, and they have received their reward.
The day before my mom entered Heaven, our
pastor put this simple sentence up on Facebook: “We are preaching our eulogy
right now.” Simple, but profound.
My mom wasn’t a person of many words. It used to frustrate
my dad, in fact, because he always wanted to know what she was thinking and
feeling, and she often didn’t say a lot.
But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized
she didn’t need to. Her life spoke for itself. She taught us by what she did,
not what she said.
Her life taught me what it looks like to serve alongside
your husband as his partner, supporter, and encourager in ministry. She
remained faithfully by my dad’s side through the “for poorer” part of their
vows. And when the “in sickness” part came, she was devoted to caring for him
and always put his needs before her own.
By example she showed me how to be a mother who puts her
kids first, no matter the sacrifice required. She taught me how to love, what
it means to be a servant of Christ, and what others see when you love Him with
all your heart.
My mom spent her life giving to others. She loved and
accepted everyone. She had a way of making you feel special.
She had a quiet strength that took life as it came, one day
at a time, not because she knew she could handle whatever came her way, but
because she knew God could. I often found her reading her Bible or praying
silently. That’s why I saw Jesus in her – she spent enough time with Him to know
Him well.
And when she did speak, we knew we better listen because she
chose her words carefully and they were full of wisdom.
About a month before my dad passed away, she told me about a
book she had been reading, in which one of the characters made
the statement, "Only God is good. God is only good."
She said, "That really hit me. How many times have I accused God of not
being good because of circumstances in my life? But God is only good."
It was that truth she clung to as she
walked through the valley of my dad’s death, followed by her dad’s death just
two months later.
It was that truth that gave her the
strength to hear a diagnosis of ALS and Frontotemporal Dementia and bear it
with grace and dignity.
Yes, there were times of tremendous sadness
and fear. But she would always return to the fact that God is only good. And
she would point us to His goodness. Even in her last days, when she couldn’t
speak a word and her strength was fading, she was still teaching me.
Tomorrow, we will gather to celebrate her life and the
difference she made in ours. We will place her body in the ground beside my
dad, knowing her soul is in her Heavenly home.
And we will remember that God is only good.
