Uncertain Future

The past two days have been tough.

Yesterday, my dad had a follow-up appointment with his surgeon to check the left foot, where three toes had been removed. He hadn't been feeling very well, but we certainly didn't expect him to receive the news the doctor gave him: a serious infection in the leg that would require amputation.

They admitted him to the hospital and started him on IV antibiotics right away. The leg below the knee will have to be amputated no matter what. If he responds well to the antibiotics, they will be able to save his knee and thigh. If not, they will have to amputate mid-thigh.

I think everyone's initial reaction was shock. This was totally unexpected. We knew there were problems with his foot, but not the leg.

For me, the shock was followed by sadness. I remember my dad as a healthy, active, athletic guy. He always played softball on the church leagues, golfed, coached Little League baseball and boys' basketball. It has been hard for him to accept the physical limitations already brought on by the diabetes and kidney failure. Now this. It's hard to see someone you love go through something like this. I just want everything to be all right. Only sometimes it's not.

And then the fear sets in. What if something goes wrong in the surgery? What if it doesn't heal and further infection sets in? There are so many what-if's that could drive me crazy with worry.

I am grateful that I serve a God who shakes me out of my what-if moments. Last night as I prayed for a successful surgery and healing, I felt this urging: Why aren't you praying for a miracle? And then I was reminded that the God I serve is the same God who raised Christ from the dead! He absolutely has the power to completely heal my dad.

I don't know what His plan is through all of this. So now I pray for a miracle, but I acknowledge God's sovereignty and praise Him no matter the outcome. This is my prayer:

"Father, I know you have the power to reach Your unseen hand down, touch my dad's leg and heal it. That is what I ask of You, so that Your servant might be rewarded and the people who see his healing would know You are a great God. Then we will glorify you for your power and goodness. And we will glorify You for your power and goodness no matter what You choose to do in his life."

The future is uncertain right now. There may be a long road ahead. I choose to see the good in this. I will enjoy spending more time with my dad, and I hope he won't feel like he is a burden to those of us who are helping him. It's the least I can do for all he's done for me.

Thanks for your prayers. I'll keep you updated.