Fear Not

It's midnight, and the house is quiet.

Everyone else is sleeping, but sleep eludes me. I know my boys are both asleep; I have peeked in on them to make sure. They may be 15 and 13 years old, but they will always be my babies.

And, tonight, this mama's heart is anxious.

I wonder what life will look like for us a month from now. Two months. Six months. A year.

What if the diagnosis is lymphoma like the doctors suspect? Lymphoma is cancer.

How will the treatments affect him? Will I be able to take care of my husband and still be the mom my boys need?

How will they respond? Will they blame God? Become angry with him? More than anything, that is what I fear right now.

Then I remember the nativity set on our end table.

We just bought it this year, on a date to Frankenmuth when we visited Bronner's. Lars wasn't happy with most of the nativity sets we found. Mary and Joseph were too ornate. "They didn't look like that," he said. Mary's shawl wouldn't have been trimmed in gold. Their robes wouldn't have been fancy. They were simple, humble people.

So we chose this one. My favorite thing about it? The verse printed on the stable wall.

“And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not; for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto us is born this day, in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord'" (Luke 2:10-11).

When you really stop and think about the truth the angels spoke to the shepherds, it is overwhelming. God became man and lived among us. Broken, unlovely people lost in sin. Our own choices separated us from His holiness. We could never hope to restore our relationship with Him. So He came down to us.

He is so much more than a baby in a manger. He is our redemption. He took our sin upon himself and paid the price we should have paid. His blood covers us; makes possible the restoration we could not earn on our own.

And He didn't stay in the grave! He conquered death! He won the victory that gives us the promise of Heaven.

If He could do all that, why do I think He can't handle this? The diagnosis, the treatment, the outcome... our boys' hearts, their faith, and how they respond to this trial... It's all in His hands.

"Fear not." I may not pack the nativity set up with the rest of the Christmas decorations. Maybe I'll leave it there as a reminder.